


in this corner of the world

by EasyPeasyPanic



Category: Naruto
Genre: "Body retrieval" but we all know Obito isn't dead but shhhh Minato doesn't know that, A good bit of shinobi tears bc these people deserve a good cry, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Mentions of Konoha politics and infrastructure, Minato in canon was so unemotional about obito's death so disregard canon, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protesting, Some actual grief on Minato's part, Survivor Guilt, Team as Family, Worldbuilding, Wow apparently I'm calling out Konoha because let's be honest they suck, we're taking konoha apart okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23748199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EasyPeasyPanic/pseuds/EasyPeasyPanic
Summary: Guilty and grieving over Obito's death, Namikaze Minato refused to leave his student's body to rot in a foreign country when it should be buried in the village.And he's willing to actually fist fight the entire world and the Third Hokage to bring his body back. But, how exactly will that change the course of events that follows?
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Namikaze Minato & Nohara Rin & Uchiha Obito, Namikaze Minato & Uchiha Obito, Namikaze Minato/Uzumaki Kushina
Comments: 68
Kudos: 328
Collections: wwwwwww





	1. what we had to lose

**Author's Note:**

> did anybody else hate how literally Minato and Kushina glossed over Obito's death. Minato literally went 'shrugged, bye buddy' 
> 
> i'm giving Minato all the emotions and grief he was denied in canon

* * *

Minato waits until the coast is clear. He checks on Kakashi's eye, rubbing antiseptic ointment around the soft flesh and rebandaging the boy's wound. He isn't going to be rising anytime soon, not with that level of chakra exhaustion, not with his reserves so dangerously close to _nothing._ He goes to Rin after working on replenishing Kakashi's reserves, and lays her down against the softest patch of grass he could find, tossing his own jōnin vest across her thin form so she doesn't get cold. 

He waits until he can feel the hum of chakra through the seals he has placed throughout the campsite for the night, and when it's safe, when he _knows_ it's safe--

Well, that's when Minato loses it. He stumbles his way through the open field, coughing and gagging the burning acid that fights it's way up. Hits his hands and knees and chokes up the bile and vomit that's been at the surface since he-- he found out what had happened. It burns his throat and his nose, the smell making his stomach twist and turn again, and Minato coughs again and again, retching it all up until it feels like he's going to faint. 

His body shakes, his arms feel like lead, and he throws himself to the side, away from his mess. Wipes his face on the sleeve of his shirt, wipes his nose and tries to crawl away from the acidic _smell_ that was following. His lips still tasted of it, but Minato didn't want to go back to get his canteen, not with tears and snot going down his face. Not if one of his kids woke up-- No, he'd be fine. He'd be fine once the knives stopped scrapping at his stomach, and he could just _stop thinking_ about it. 

Him. 

Uchiha Obito. 

Who was supposed to be _here_ , sitting next to Minato on first watch, just as he always was because the boy had too much energy to fall asleep right away. The boy that should've been staring up at the stars through orange-tinted goggles, one hand snug against the kunai pouch to be ready because for all the jokes about him, for all the imperfections and the eccentric behavior, Obito was a fine shinobi. A chūnin, and they didn't just pass that title out to anyone. He'd earned it. _Earned it_. He was supposed to be by Minato's side right now, exhausted and disheveled from the mission. 

Maybe furious too, that everything went alright when it was Kakashi leading the mission, like he'd wanted _something_ to go wrong to prove a point. And it had, hadn't it? Gone all wrong. No, not wrong. 

It'd gone to absolute _shit_ . But Minato would prefer an angry Uchiha over a dead one, he'd prefer to listen to weeks worth of moaning and groaning about Kakashi's position, about his success, about how much Obito wanted to knock him off his pedestal, without ever realizing that the only one preventing him from rising too was himself. He'd prefer the glares and _just-a-touch-too-far_ jokes, and all the screaming matches and bloody noses he'd have to deal with if he could just--

Just have Obito _back_ . It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair, not to be going home with his entire team. Minato had been assigned a set of three, two boys and a girl, and he'd grown to love that set. Two boys and a girl. His two boys and his girl. And now, there were only two coming home, and three empty body scrolls sitting in his shuriken pouch because Minato hadn't even been able to bring any piece of Obito home, had he? Not a single piece of him, besides the cracked orange-tinted goggles that are clutched in Rin's hands. The same hands that have dried-blood crusted against the nail beds, that had _Obito's_ blood dried to her skin. 

Fresh bile burns in his throat, but he swallows it down and gasps for breath. It feels like someone's knocked the air out of him, trying to imagine how it must have felt. Minato's never in a million years imagined what it would be like to be crushed, never even considered it as a possibility. He'd always been too fast, too skilled, too advanced to ever be put in such a situation.

Minato gags again. It had to have hurt, right? Being crushed and conscious? It had to _hurt_ . It had to have been painful? Or maybe he didn't feel it. Maybe, with all that adrenaline, he didn't feel his bones break and his limbs smash, maybe it was so sudden that it didn't _hurt_. Maybe it didn't hurt. 

(But maybe it did.)

The grass is dry and sharp against his face. He stays collapsed against it, the brittleness shifting and sticking into his skin, but it doesn't break. Grass doesn't break under his weight, when he's a giant compared to it. He's a boulder compared to this dried, sun-bleached grass, and it isn't breaking underneath him. Huge and unmoving and crushing and far too heavy and

Minato vomits again. 

**_____ **

Protocol dictates a check in at the village gates. Identification (unnecessary for the Yellow Flash) first, and then they can help get injured squad members to the hospital or report any major issues to the Hokage immediately. 

Minato fishes out his paperwork with a steady hand. Slams it down on the counter of the gatekeeper's small barracks, and the woman addresses them with a particular frown. It was a chūnin that he was familiar with, although Minato couldn't begin to tell anyone _what_ her name was. Her gaze shifts from Minato to Rin and then Kakashi, and then her lips pursed. She grimaced. 

"Namikaze-san," The chūnin addressed softly. "Everything's in order. If you'll leave your BRS in the basket, I'll have it taken care of when the next hospital runner comes by. Do either of your squad need immediate medical attention? I can have Hiroto-san take them for you." 

"No, thank you. I can escort them myself." Minato says back, just as politely. He very pointedly does _not_ address the basket that sits across from the woman, on the end of her desk. Everyone knows what it's for, and he puts a firm hand on Kakashi's thin shoulder to keep him grounded and moving. "Come on, Kakashi, let's go." 

The chūnin cleared her throat. 

"The BRS, Namikaze-san? I can assure you we'll treat it with the utmost respect, as befitting a shinobi of our village." 

It's almost like she's mocking him, though he's well aware that isn't the case. Rin inhales sharply, but exhales shakily, probably close to tears. Kakashi tenses, but Minato doesn't move his hand. The basket is for Body Retrieval Scrolls, the formal name for the government-issued black scrolls made specifically for bringing bodies of fallen shinobi back. Generally, each year, they hand out three to genin squad leaders, or just basic squad leaders. It's a hopeful number. Only _three_ deaths. Because you only usually have the three team members. 

If you're lucky, you have more than three. Some shinobi collect them like trophies to prove they've managed to protect their comrades, some throw them away, and others hand them out to their less fortunate comrades who've used up all of theirs. 

Minato has nine scrolls. For each year of having a genin squad, he received his three. He has nine scrolls. He kept his kids alive for three, almost four years.

"Namikaze-san?" She prompts again, and Kakashi's going close to feral. He shoves forward, but Minato tugs him back. He gives her a _look_ , and she finally understood. 

"Oh." She says easily, like Minato's entire world hasn't fallen apart. Like they weren't discussing his own personal failure, just a friendly discussion about the weather. "I'll make note of it." 

The basket is halfway full. Minato counts as many scrolls as they pass, stopping at thirteen. There are thirteen scrolls, which are collected from dawn when the shifts change, and it's nearly noon. There have been _thirteen deaths_ since dawn. Or at last, thirteen fallen shinobi have been brought back since dawn, and it would've been fourteen if Minato had managed to bring back Obito. Not that it would matter much, because he doesn't have a family to return the body to, but it takes his breath away to think of it. 

Obito's alone in foreign lands, left behind by his genin squad's sensei like a few spare shuriken that can be abandoned and replaced later. Not even worth going back to collect, because there had been a mission to finish, and Kakashi needed antibiotics stronger than what Minato had on him, and Rin was bordering on chakra exhaustion. 

Because he was repetitively _failing_ as a leader, he had to leave Obito behind. 

(Obito shouldn't have been dead to begin with, but Minato _failed_ as a leader.)

Kakashi's voice comes out, cracked and furious. Like thunder before lightning. "She needs to learn to _shut up_." He says, turning back to look at the gates, but Minato walks behind him. Blocks his view. 

"She didn't know." He says, but it feels more like an excuse for himself than for her. He should've been clear to begin with. Minato makes note of that for another time, if this ever happened again. (It wouldn't, right?)

Rin murmurs something, but he doesn't know what she says. Her lip movements are too slow and too miniscule for him to read what she's saying. Her head is low, her hair in her face, and she's got her fists clenched at her sides. Minato reminds himself to tell her mother about the treatments they offer at the Hospital, a small psychiatric clinic. Therapy, actually. It wasn't very high-budget, much too new and unused. Shinobi avoided it like the plague, but civilians talked highly of it. Rin's civilian mother would appreciate it, and if Minato convinced _her_ , she would convince Rin. It would be good for her, Minato thinks faintly, forcing his legs to keep going. 

He avoids the crowds of people in the marketplace, going left towards the hospital. It's a slow pace. Kakashi's exhausted, Rin's exhausted, and Minato's weighed down by a thousand guilts ready to consume him the _moment_ he was alone with his thoughts again. 

"We have to give the Hokage report." 

Rin gives him a sideways glance. There are bruises beneath her eyes, " _Kakashi_ ." Her voice isn't affectionate anymore, she doesn't say his name with reverance or awe. If anything, she's too distanced from the situation. "Enough, _please._ Go to the hospital. I can't promise Obi-- _that_ eye will last without a more experienced medic checking over my work. And medicine. You _need_ medicine."

The fight actually drains out of his youngest student. Maybe because Rin almost said _his_ name, or maybe because she's damn near begging. But Minato chokes too, because she's the voice of reason. It was supposed to be _him_ , but Rin is taking charge right now. And Kakashi's reluctantly listening, which is more than he's ever done for Minato. 

And if Obito was here, it would be a screaming match. If Kakashi refused, Obito would fight to drag him to that damn hospital tooth and nail, if only because Rin said it was necessary. Most of the medical advice Obito followed was anything Rin said, and if she insisted it was important, it had to happen. 

(Kushina used to say that if Rin told Obito it was medically necessary to jump off a bridge, he'd do a backflip on the way down.)

But he's not here now. Minato can't swallow the lump in his throat, can't do anything except lead them through backroads and alleys, away from people. Away from fellow shinobi or old classmates that would ask far too many questions, or one misspoken word about _where's Obito_ , and it would destroy the quiet they have going on. It would make this far too real, make them _all_ face emotions and thoughts and reality that needs to just leave them all alone for right now. 

They can handle it later. Pain is for later, they've had enough for right now. 

Has it always been so sunny in Konoha? It's so _bright_ and hot, and Minato has to keep his face down to avoid it. He's sweating beneath his vest, and he wonders why he's never noticed how hot it was in Konoha before. He's sweaty and overheated and shaking. Or maybe that's because he has to leave his students again, that everything seems so much harder. 

He comes to a stop in front of the hospital. Finally lets go of his smallest student, the youngest, and it _hurts_ to have to let him go. It hurts. The last time he left these kids alone--

Well, Minato can't stop the shivers going down his spine or the phantom taste of acid on his tongue. He ruffles Kakashi's hair, but doesn't acknowledge the bandages on his face covering an eye that Minato still can't bear to look at, not that the boy would willingly show him either way. 

"Go in there and get checked out, and if they want you to stay overnight, you _stay overnight_. I know you and your tricks, Kakashi." Minato tells him, crouching down to meet his eyeline. Any other time, Kakashi would rail at him for being condescending about his height. He doesn't meet his eyes today. "I'll hunt you down and drag you right back, kicking and screaming."

"Yes, Sensei." He murmurs, far too agreeable. 

Rin finally looks up, her eyes glossy but serious. She's past her shock, slipping easily into the skilled medical ninja that she was trained to be, no matter how young she was. "I'll handle it, Sensei." She assures him, offering a weak smile. "I'll tie him down if I have to." 

(She says-- _used_ to say the same thing when Obito got antsy and bored during his hospital stays.)

Minato fusses over her hair, flattens it down fondly, "You stay too, Rin. I don't want you doing anything but getting checked over. Maybe chakra restoration treatments too. Promise me."

"I will." 

He puts a hand against her face. Round and soft. _So young_ . Did she always have baby fat on her cheeks, or did he never bother to look past the purple markings? He turns to Kakashi, ruffling his hair again. He was short, so _thin_ and little, and young. They were so _young._

"I'll be back at soon as I can, okay? Ask to share a room. I'll be back, and I'll bring you something to eat. Not that disgusting hospital food. Real food. I'm going to deal with the Hokage, and then you two are going to _eat_ real food, not rations, okay?" Minato rambles, because that's the first thing he can think to do. Food was comforting, wasn't it? Compared to bland, far too nutritious ration bars, it had to be good. 

Food was easy. He knew what Kakashi liked. He knew what Rin liked. There were dozens of restaurants and carts to stop at between here and the Hokage's tower, so after the meeting he could pick something up. They deserved it, after everything. To be taken care of, to have a decent meal. Minato could get them a decent meal. 

(Even if he couldn't bring their friend home.)

He gives them one last smile. (As big as he can manage, as honest and loving as he can manage with his heart twisting in his chest.)

And then he's gone. 

**_____ **

Sandaime doesn't let him finish the thought before he completely dismisses him, "No." He says through the smoke. The smell of tobacco made Minato's stomach churn worse than has been for the past few days, even before…

Before what happened. 

Minato straightens up, back going rigid. He forces himself to remain calm, to keep a steady head. With a little too much force, he sets down his signed reports that he wrote before he arrived back home, when Rin and Kakashi were resting, that detailed everything Minato already said. 

"I didn't say anything." 

Sandaime watches him, his expression neutral. He'd been sympathetic throughout Minato's story, but it seemed to have disappeared as quickly as it had arrived. "I can already tell what's going on in your mind." He said softly, not old enough to sound sagely or wise, just enough to make Minato want to strangle him. "And I sympathize with you, Minato, truly. That boy was one of the rare ones, kind and loyal, but I can't allow you to go back." 

"We can't just leave him there." Minato protests, already furious at himself and his village's leader. "He was one of _us_ , a shinobi of this village! He died for it, for...for _us_ . I had to leave him, to protect my other two students, but I swore I would go back. I have to bring him _home_!"

The Hokage leans back in his seat, letting the pipe dangle from in between his lips. Smoke blew out with every breath, and it did little to alleviate the jittery feeling inside of Minato. How could he be so calm? Didn't he realize what Minato _just said_? He left his student behind. He abandoned him, to rot in a foreign country, buried deep beneath stone. (It was insulting, to leave him there, to let Iwa get that small victory, to leave him crushed beneath stone like they'd somehow won.) 

"Have you calmed?" The Hokage asks slowly, gently cradling his pipe, hitting it against an ashtray on the desk. 

" _I am calm_." Minato says through grit teeth. "I am calm. I am rational. I'm telling you I have to go get him back. I shouldn't have left him."

"And what will that achieve?" 

" _What_?"

"Going to retrieve his body. What will that achieve? There's nothing more to be done, the boy's dead. I'm remorseful about that, I did like him. He was a bright boy, and there aren't many like him left in times of war, but he's dead. Uchiha Obito had passed away, Minato." 

( _Like Minato doesn't already know that_?)

"He has."

"And bringing back his body isn't a priority." Sandaime says apologetically, still clinging to the fake pleasantries and gentle explanations, as if he were a child. Or too in shock to make rational decisions or comprehend. "We're at war, Minato. Your village has use for you and your team elsewhere, to different borders than Kusagakure. We don't have the manpower to waste on a body retrieval mission, not during war times. Bodies are not priorities during war, that was a law created by the Nidaime himself."

"We have Nidaime's body, though. He's buried somewhere secret with the Shodai. Everyone knows that, that somebody went back for him. Even the creator of that law got his body brought _home_ . Because he was one of us, because he belonged _here_ instead rotting away in the woods!" Minato's never had a temper, not really. He remembers his old teammates used to stay that when he grew angry, he was like a growing storm. All grey clouds at first, some wind and rain, and then a full blown hurricane.

He doesn't feel like a storm today. He feels like one of those volcanos that Kushina told him stories about, ready for eruption. 

Sandaime frowns, eyebrows pressing together. He's keeping his cool, which doesn't help the burning anger that's eating away at Minato. 

"The Nidaime's body held secrets, both to his clan and to our village. His body was essential, but I can't afford to send you back to get the boy's. He has no immediate family that wishes to bury him, no secrets that must be kept, nothing that would make him classified as essential. I understand your grief, but please be reasonable." The older man hasn't lost his comforting tone, but there's an edge to it now. Almost like he has a headache coming on and just wants the whole conversation to end quickly. Minato refuses to let that happen. Not until he gets what he wants. He can't let something so important drop. 

He wants Obito back. 

"He has _us._ We want him back. We're his family. You don't spend four years with a person, and they don't become your family. And he's an Uchiha. Noble clans with Dōjutsu get their bodies returned home. That's _also_ a law."

Sandaime shakes his head, finally ( _finally_ ) setting down his pipe. He interlocks his fingers, far too disinterested in the situation. Less pitying. 

"We're all family in Konoha." He says, like a broken record of things that Minato's heard a dozen times. "I understand what you're feeling, I do. But the boy's Sharingan has already been brought back by Kakashi, and the other must have been crushed by the cave in. It's safe to announce him as retrieved to his clan." 

_No. No._ Obito was so much more than his Sharingan, so much more than the eye he gave to Kakashi. He was a sunny, kind, determined boy. He wasn't as talented as Kakashi, sure, but he was skilled all on his own. He was hardworking and genuinely kind, and what he lacked in talent, he made up for in his huge personality. 

"It is not the same." Minato tells him, holding back a scream that wants to rip out of his chest. "It is _not_ the same as bringing him home. He deserves to be buried _here_."

"Minato." Sandaime gives him a firm stare. "You're dismissed. Go check on the rest of your team." 

"I'm not done discussing this--"

"Yes, you are. I'm denying your retrieval request. Those kids need you, and Konoha needs them. Help them mend their wounds, Minato. They'll be looking to you for guidance and comfort. And perhaps they might bring you the same healing." And then he looks down at his paperwork, finished with the entire conversation. 

Minato storms out the door. He's nearly explosive, so close to losing it and screaming at the world that his student was _gone_. He was young, so young and so brave, and he died like a real hero. He made sure Kakashi got to come home, even if he didn't, and the least that Minato can do is bring Obito home too. It isn't fair. He should've been there. 

He should've been _there_. He shouldn't have left Kakashi in charge, he was far too young. He shouldn't have left their sides, no matter their rank. They were children, and they got overwhelmed and they got hurt and one of them died. 

It wasn't fair--though not much was in the shinobi life-- to have lost his student. It wasn't fair when that kid had an entire life ahead of him. Minato wanted to see him become Hokage. He wanted to give him that stupid hat himself, after Minato was ready to retire, he wanted to personally plant it on the Uchiha's head. He wanted to take him and Rin out for BBQ after they passed their jonin exams, and he wanted to have pictures of them all in their vests. Minato had been _more_ than willing to wrestle and guilt Kakashi into wearing his for the picture.

But now it wouldn't happen.

Minato controls his breathing, forcing himself to calm down and stop his hands from shaking at his side. He slips into neutrality, goes to the first vendor he can find because he promised his students a meal. 

And that he can provide. At the very least, he can do _that_. 

(And if he accidentally gets four portions instead of three, that's his business.)

**_____ **

Kushina doesn't cry when she's told. In fact, she keeps her head and smooths out the hair that falls across Rin's face, offering them all a soft smile. It isn't what he expects. 

He waits for the tears, the rage, the anguish, for Kushina to fall apart worse than Minato did because she always favored _him._ He couldn't do that, favor a certain student because that was bias, but she could because she didn't teach him directly. And Kami strike him down if Obito hadn't been Kushina's favorite of his three students, the easiest for her to get along with and so similar to her that it was like they were made for each other. But she doesn't scream or rage or cry. 

She just doesn't. 

Kushina smiles her way through the grief. 

"It was a bad situation." She says softly, although her eyes are wet. "But he died a hero…?" Her softened eyes are on Kakashi, who shrinks in on himself. Chin on his knees, turning away from her. 

He nods jerkily. 

Kushina smooths back his hair too, pressing the sweaty, unclean hair down again and again. Petting it without slowing down. There's a basket next to the bedside table, fruits. A knife to carve the apples and pears. Rin had a few strawberries on her lap, red, and she took a bite of one when Minato looked at her. Eating hadn't been easy for them, but they were working through it, at least for Minato's sake. 

There's candies in the basket. Cherry flavored lollipops. Obito loved candies. Minato fights back a painful laugh bubbling in his chest. His wayward student had even choked on one during the chūnin exam. _The chūnin exam._

(She must have went out and bought things for the basket before she arrived at the hospital, before she realized there was somebody missing.)

Kushina's eyes turn to him, lips pressed together. She knows him far too well, and he knows her well too. She's picking him apart, layer by layer, until he's a raw mess of emotions and regrets. He doesn't know when she'd arrived, because Minato had fallen asleep in the waiting room chair when he'd went to try and find some tea to keep himself awake, and his eyes are still heavy with sleep. 

(He couldn't bring himself to leave the hospital. The last time he left them alone, one of them didn't come back. He won't be making the same mistake twice.)

"Minato." She says gently. "Why don't you go home? I'll stay here, make sure nobody tries to escape." Her head tilts towards Kakashi, a playful smile on her lips and a joking glint in her eyes. "You look half dea--" Her voice dies off, and Rin coughs loudly to circumvent the inevitable tension. She rises up, brushes off her hospital gown, and drifts past them. 

"Go, Minato-sensei." Rin encourages, far too involved with him when she should be worried about herself. " _Please_. We'll be fine." And then she's gone, off towards the door. She slides it to the side, muttering _excuse me_ and _use the_ _restroom_. Minato stumbles towards the open door blindly, his legs not taking him where he needs to go, and Kushina grabs his arm. 

She kisses him, her palm softly against his cheek. "Go sleep." Kushina said firmly, leaving no room for argument. "I'll stay here for tonight. They won't be alone. Rin's mother should be here soon, so we'll have two sets of eyes on them. You look like shit, y'know."

"I--"

"Go _home_ , sensei." Kakashi mutters, chin tucked against his chest, arms crossed. He still didn't meet Minato's eyes, and all the teacher could see was the bandages across his face. Bandages that wouldn't be there if Minato had stayed with his team, if he'd helped _them_ first before moving on to the frontlines, if he'd ignored orders, maybe if he acknowledged that leaving kids alone wasn't a good idea. 

Minato nods jerkily, stumbling towards the door. "I'll be back." He promised, not sure who was promising it to. "I'll…"

Kushina closes the door behind him. 

**_____ **

Rin meets him in the hallway, leaning her back against the wall out of the range of the visitor's window. Her arms dangle useless at her sides, and she slides slowly down the wall until she's fully seated on the ground. 

The spike of panic in his chest is both new and familiar. 

"Rin." Minato crouches down beside her. "Rin, are you okay? Do you need a nurse--" His eyes dart up, searching, hand outstretched to wave somebody (anybody) down to help. 

What she says next isn't a question. "You aren't going home, are you." 

He feels caught, exposed, and far too paranoid. Minato fights his equalibrium, balances out his emotions, and offers her his usual grin. 

"Of course I am. Kushina's going to be staying with you all for the night. And your mother--"

"That's not what I asked, Minato-sensei." Rin murmurs, tilting her head to the side, letting her brown hair fall across pale cheeks. "You've always been a really bad liar. Obito...used to say that when you smiled too wide, it meant you were lying. You aren't going home. You're going to go right back to that chair in the waiting room, and tear yourself to pieces to make sure we're okay." Her eyes are sharp, far too thoughtful for a girl so young, and Minato has to remind himself that she is a trained medical professional. 

She's been taught to read and analyze people and situations since her childhood when she trailed after her surgeon mother in the Emergency Room. To rationalize and compartmentilize and to push aside emotions for later. Minato stays crouched beside her, running a hand through his greasy hair, nodding his head. That was right. It was exactly what he was going to do, if he were honest with himself. 

"Are _you_ okay?" Rin continues on, smashing and clawing through whatever self respect and emotional indifference that Minato had left. "You don't seem alright, which is fine. I'm not-- I miss him, too, Sensei, but you don't have to--" Her lips twist and curl, like she's grasping at the words. "You should actually go home, sensei. You need to sleep and shower. You smell." 

Rin has never been this blunt before. Minato isn't sure if he appreciates the self-confidence, or if he's ashamed he's let this world harden her into this. 

"I know." He murmurs. "I just want to…"

She sighs, shaking her head. "There's a room on the third floor. 22B, it's an on-call room for medics. Nobody uses it because it doesn't have air conditioning or heat, but I like to use it when I need time alone. After something really hard happens during my shift." Rin fiddles with her wrists, seeking out bracelets that aren't on her right now to tug on. "You can use it, if you want, sensei. Shower and sleep and still be here."

 _Since you can't bring yourself to leave_ , those words are left unspoken, but her eyes are so sad and tired and painfully understanding. Minato has to bite back a scream because he's supposed to be the one comforting _her_. Making her feel better, taking care of her. But he's been doing a real crap job of that lately, hasn't he?

"Okay." He says numbly. "Thank you, Rin. Come on, let's get you back before Kushina sends a search party."

Minato ruffles her hair, helps her stand up. He grasps her shoulders tightly, bringing her in for a tight embrace, and that's when she shatters apart right there in his arms. 

Her sobs bubble out and she shakes. His shirt wettens, but he doesn't mind. Minato holds her tighter and tighter, trying to find something to say, but how does he comfort her? What does he say? 

(He's in the Purelands, he can't hurt anymore? We'll go after Iwagakure, avenge him? It'll all be okay? Even Minato can't bring himself to believe in that?)

"It isn't…" She hiccups, fists clenched at her sides. Her chin struck out defiantly, digging into his ribs, and he hums softly. "Fair. He was trying to-- to save me! And then Kakashi!"

Minato rubs circles into her back, "And he did. He did. He saved you and he saved Kakashi. He was a hero." He tells her, honest. Because he was a hero, the greatest one. Obito managed to get both of his teammates home in one piece, even if that had meant he couldn't come back. 

Minato would be grateful to his student for the rest of his life. 

"He was my best friend." Rin sobs, falling apart. But that's alright. That's fine, she can do that. Minato will hold her together for as long as she needs him to. He keeps his breathing steady, keeps his grip on her tight, letting her get it all out. 

"I've got you." He murmurs, again and again. "It wasn't fair, I know that." 

"He was my best friend." She repeats, heartbroken. "My _best_ friend." 

Minato was going to figure out a way to go back for Obito anyway, but this was more than enough to renew his motivation. 

**_____ **

(He is far too grateful when Nohara Atsu stumbles upon them in the hallway, clutching onto each other like a lifeline. 

She's older than him, and he feels stupidly young when Atsu sighs knowingly. Her chocolate brown gaze could have destroyed him in his place, with all that pity and overwhelming relief. Because Nohara Atsu must be relieved that her daughter returned home alive.

"Oh, Rin." She says calmly, keeping her face neutral. "Minato-san, do you mind…?"

He relinquished his hold on her daughter, letting the woman comfort the girl, leaving Rin in the arms of someone who _deserves_ to get to comfort her.

"Thank you." He says quietly, flickering away.)

**_____ **

Minato goes home, despite himself. 

He showers. He shaves the light stumble that graces his usually smooth cheeks. He changes into fresh clothes, just loose trousers and one of Kushina's orange t-shirts. He waters his favorite succulents, paying careful attention to his October Daphne, who was lovingly named Little Guy. Little Guy is growing very well. Even does the dishes for Kushina, that way she doesn't have to worry about it. 

Everything is done mechanically. Methodically. 

He's a shinobi. He can put aside his emotions, just as well as anyone else. 

He goes back to the hospital. He checks on his students once more, and then passes out on the scratchy pillows and firm mattress of the unused on-call room.

And thank Kami, he doesn't dream. 

**_____ **

The young man at the front desk blinks at him, "Oh, Namikaze-san! Welcome! What can I do for you?" He shuffles some papers into a file, shoving it into a desk drawer. Minato offers a polite smile, nodding at the two younger chūnin that take their own paperwork and scurry out of his way. 

"I need a meeting request form?" He tilts his head to the side, straining his memory to figure out which one he needed specifically. Missions reports, battlefield statistics, and long term rationing instructions were second nature to him. Easy. He could write dozens of them in a matter of minutes. That type of paperwork was easier than eating a whole bowl of ramen with his wife. 

But the bureaucracy of formal hearings relating to public officials, clan heads, and seperate militarized units was a mess he just couldn't wrangle. 

It was paperwork on paperwork on more paperwork and a couple thoughts of suicide. But it was a necessary evil in _this_ case. 

"A standard meeting request, or an emergency direct form that goes through seperate channels?" The secretary asked. 

Minato laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. For someone of his reputation, he must look like an idiot. 

Good, he felt like one too. 

"I'm not sure? I mean, I need to set up a meeting as soon as possible. It's urgent."

The young secretary nods his head, yanking open a couple of drawers snatching up sheet after sheet after sheet, "This is all the basics for _any_ type of meeting. For the more specific paperwork, I need to know who you're petitioning for audience _exactly_ , if that's alright, Namikaze-san?"

 _All of those papers, just for the BASICS?_ If Minato wasn't so determined, he might've just given up and threw a brick through the man's window instead. But this was a delicate situation that needed to be handled with more dignity and respect than Minato was ever taught to use by his mother.

"Is it a clan leader? Or the head of an organization?" The young man interrogates. 

Minato holds his hands out for the papers, "Both? Which ever way will get me a meeting the faster. It's going to be an audience with Uchiha Fugaku." 

* * *


	2. a whole new world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i totally forgot i had this chapter finished and never posted it

* * *

It's a plain room. Two different scrolls hang across both walls with the familiar Uchiha symbol scrawled on top of a green shuriken, and Fugaku's secretary was kind enough to bring in some light refreshments while he waited.

"Just a while longer." She assured, wiping the crumbs off the desk, sweeping them into her hands. "It's a long meeting. Budgets for the month, you know how it is. I've let him know he has a visitor waiting." 

No, Minato doesn't know anything about monthly budgets or appropriate numbers for staffing on all four sectors of the village, or how the laws work exactly or training for those laws, but he plans to figure it all out when he's Hokage. For now, he sips jasmine tea and finishes off the cookies that the Uchiha woman gave him, and thanks her for her kindness. 

With a sweet smile, she bows and scurries back out of the office to the little desk and filing cabinet barrier she's created for herself. The door closes with a soft click, and the blinds are closed too so he can't see anybody coming. 

(It's a little unnerving, but Minato has also  _ just  _ come back from the frontlines, so he's jumpy.)

His eyes scan the surroundings. Again. A big wooden desk, the Uchiha crest etched into the wood, no, actually it was  _ burned  _ in. Stacks and stacks of paperwork, although Minato isn't naïve enough to think any of it is important enough to be left unattended with him. Mostly filler paperwork, he imagines. Shinobi are weary like that, suspicious. A part of him is surprised at how messy the room was, considering how neat Mikoto and Fugaku's house usually was. Scrolls piled high in one corner, some still sealed closed. A few vests were thrown leisurely across the floor, discarded either by Fugaku himself or perhaps extra for new recruits. Not disorganized, but in disarray. Then again, Minato doesn't know much about Fugaku outside of the dinner parties and the birthdays and the few holidays they've shared. To everyone's surprise, they aren't close friends. 

Their wives are! Best friends actually, and they've been such since childhood. To the point that as a teenager, Minato would ask  _ Mikoto _ where his girlfriend was and she'd know, even if it was supposed to be classified information when the Uzumaki was on a mission. That kind of bond was rare, and Minato didn't quite understand what the two women had, but they were closer than sisters. 

But Fugaku? Well, Minato didn't exactly know what to think of him. They weren't the type to go out for drinks, or to talk outside the dinners that their wives would host. Minato knew him better around the war table, and he respected Wicked Eye Fugaku more than anyone else he could think of. The man's skill was unmatched, his experience in the field was invaluable, and his leadership skills were beyond even Minato, though the Uchiha did have several years on him. They'd fought in several battles together, consulted on different planning sessions before and now during the war, and they were friendly enough to one another. But it was a mutual understanding that their friendship was because of their wives, the reason they knew each other well. 

He glances at the clock on the wall, shifting in his seat. It had been about twenty minutes of waiting so far, even though his appointment had been at three. Which was fine, because Rin and Kakashi had both been discharged from the hospital after their brief stay in the observation unit. Kushina agreed to walk Kakashi home, while Rin's father had arrived to pick her up, and so Minato had plenty of free time until he had to be home. 

(The Hokage had asked him to come to the Tower whenever he had the time, which to most shinobi would mean immediately, but Minato was still frustrated about their last conversation, so he could wait a few days.)

Minato slumps down, massaging his forehead. How long was he really willing to wait, he wondered. This was a necessary visit, plus he'd spent more ryo than he'd like to admit on getting two different officials to stamp his petition as  _ urgent _ and then get it put on the schedule within a week. 

Forty five minutes past the meeting time. 

He lets himself slide further down the chair. His vision blurs, the room was so  _ chilly _ so he huddles in on himself. Tucks his chin down and relaxes his exhausted bones. 

An hour and ten minutes late. 

He's nearly fully asleep, chin tucked against his chest, arms crossed. Minato startles awake when the door opens, and he has to  _ fight  _ back the urge to grab a kunai and attack. Front-line brain, he rationalized. 

"I'm sorry. I have a meeting that ran long--" Fugaku looked up from his file, and blinked in surprise. He shuts the file, just as Minato stood. He extended a hand to shake him, and Fugaku did the same. It's a familiar, curt handshake. "Minato, it's nice to see you. If you wanted to talk, you could have just waited at my house instead of spending an hour here. Mikoto should've told you I was off at five. Well, perhaps not today with all of this work, but you would've been given dinner for your patience."

"No, no, it's fine. This isn't a personal visit."

Which is exactly why Minato didn't do just that. It would've been easy to wait for Fugaku to get off work, to visit him at home and munch on Mikoto's cooking, and to play with Little Itachi for a while. But what he's going to say  _ here _ is private and formal (and borderline treason) that wouldn't be as easy to say around Mikoto or Itachi. 

(Did Itachi know Obito? He was so young so perhaps not, but then again Obito was known for offering to babysit the Uchiha children for extra money on the side to fund his constant need to repair his goggles. Would Itachi cry when he found out his babysitter had died? Minato wasn't sure he could handle that today.)

Fugaku's face hardens, and his eyes go neutral and blank. He schools his features with ease, nodding curtly, and rounding the desk to sit down. Minato takes his own seat. 

"What's happened?" The Uchiha asks, clasping his hands together on top of the wood and papers. Minato straightens his back, doing his best to go as blank as the Uchiha. He takes a deep breath, practising the formal spiel that he was taught before his Jōnin Exams. 

Minato's voice doesn't waver, "As the Leader of Team Seven, it's my duty to come to you as the Uchiha Clan Head, and inform you of the death of Uchiha Obito in the line of duty." He says formally. Distantly. 

Fugaku blinks. His lips purse. He swallows once. Twice. 

"I see." He says. "And here I thought you said this wasn't a personal visit."

(Fugaku was fond of Obito. Minato was always surprised to hear that because out of the two, he'd always assumed it would be soft-hearted, motherly Mikoto to favor the Uchiha's black sheep, but she wasn't too fond of him. She didn't dislike him, it wasn't possible for her to dislike a child, but Mikoto never really spoke of him or to him. It was Fugaku that often asked over his progress during the couples' double dates. It was him that would make a point to sign off on the boy's paperwork on time even if he had a dozen other orphaned Uchiha to attend to, and would often overlook his antics. That had been caught smiling at the boy's overdramatics more than once, and had picked him up after practice occasionally. Obito spoke highly of him. Maybe this was more personal than he thought.)

"I'm sorry." Minato tries to sound as honest as he can, but it comes out hollow. Because he's used up all of his apologies, to everyone. To Obito in his prayers, to Kakashi and Rin for letting their friend die, to Kushina for being so distant. 

Fugaku leans back, rubs his temples. "How long ago?"

"Four days ago-- no, five." 

"I didn't receive the BRS." Fugaku notes. To anyone else, there was no change in his tone, but Minato caught the force of his words. Like he was forcing back a choked scream with every word. Minato's been doing that all week. "I'm supposed to receive it  _ immediately _ ."

Minato stares at him. He doesn't know how to say it. Like gum or chewed honeycomb filling his mouth, his tongue stuck to the roof, unable to get free. 

" _ Where _ is his body? The village morgue has no right to keep his body, he's an Uchiha. He should be burned and put into our family's shrine. I won't have this blatant disregard for our traditions."

Minato's mouth opens. He flounders, and then he forces himself to shut it again. 

The words refuse to leave his mouth. 

Fugaku seems to understand because the fight leaves his body, and he slumps down against the desk. There are bruises beneath his eyes, faded almost, but still there. Lines in his forehead that he's much too young to have, and tension in his shoulders. He looks far older than he really should be now. 

"You didn't bring him back." 

"I'm sorry." Minato repeats. 

Fugaku gives him a withering stare, "What happened?" He demands, and it sounds like an order from a superior shinobi. It snaps him back to reality like being yanked out of freezing water and back into warm air. 

Minato spills out every detail he's legally allowed to give out, because even though Kannabi Bridge was a success, the actual mission details aren't to be shared afterwards to anyone other than the Hokage and his select officials. He leaves out the parts about his role, about the sabotage and the slaughter, and keeps it entirely about what he learned from Rin and Kakashi. 

About Rin's kidnapping, about the fight between Kakashi and Obito over their roles as shinobi and their disagreement over the mission. He rambles on about the bravery Obito must have had to know he would face Iwagakure shinobi without Kakashi's support, about how Kakashi lost an eye and Obito activated his Sharingan. He goes over how Rin was saved, but the cost was high. It was Kakashi's life or Obito's own, and the Uchiha boy paid the ultimate price for his friend. 

Minato tries to hide his grimace when he explains that Obito was still alive when the other kids were forced to leave him. That he died alone, crushed and buried alive. He stops, lets Fugaku process what he's told him, and remains quiet as unreadable emotions flicker through dark eyes. 

"I see." Fugaku crosses his arms over his chest. He looks almost ten years older than he did a few minutes ago. Aging more by the second, apparently. "I see. That does sound like a way he would die. He was...not the best at self preservation." 

"No," Minato breathed out. "No, Kami, no he wasn't. When I found out he choked on that candy during the Chūnin exams, I--" He huffs out some laughter, face hitting his palm.

Fugaku snorts, "You wouldn't believe the backlash from that. Those stuck-up Hyūga still laugh at us about it." His lips twist into a small, sad smile. "It was entertaining, at least." He said quietly. "I laughed." 

"Me too." Minato admits. "Not sure if I laughed because it was funny or because I was embarrassed. I didn't think to check him for candy before the exams."

"You could have tried, but he'd have found a way to hide it somewhere on him. He does-- did it enough during mandatory clan gatherings, no matter how I searched. It became a training exercise for new recruits into the Police Force. Still... you won't believe how amused I was to know they filmed that year. I have the tape of him choking. I was going to use it as blackmail against him."

Minato flounders, " _ You _ blackmail, Fugaku? I would have thought that would be more Mikoto's style."

"Mikoto's style is more  _ set it on fire  _ and hope for the best, if you would believe that."

Fugaku shakes his head, still with that same little smile. He uncrosses his arms, but his hands are limp against the wood, sprawled out over the papers on his desk. 

"Thank you for informing me. I'll have a formal announcement of his passing to the clan tomorrow. There will be a memorial sometime next week. Will you be in attendance with your team?"

"Of course." Minato says firmly, but then stops. He pauses, backtracking. "Unless you want to wait until we have his body, and then it can be a funeral."

Fugaku raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about?" He frowns, leaning forward. "You said--"

"I want to go back! To bring him home."

"Go back to Kusagakure?" Fugaku repeats. "In the middle of a war. Into enemy territory. Enemies you've just severely pissed off by destroying one of their main supply lines." 

"Yes." 

"Have you been given approval by the Hokage?" 

Minato falters, "No, not exactly. He denied my request. Which is why I'm here, besides my normal duties to announce his death. Because Kakashi has the Sharingan, and the other was probably crushed, the Body Retrieval Act doesn't apply to Obito. Legally, his assets were brought home, so we can't go back for him without executive permission." He explains, although he's sure that Fugaku already knows everything he's prattling out. Of course he would, he probably handled issues like this on a daily basis, whereas Minato hadn't any experience in the subject of clan laws. 

"You want clan support to petition him into letting you go back for Obito." 

"Yes,  _ please _ ." 

"Minato, I want him brought home to be put to rest amongst his clansmen as much as I'm sure you do, but in these times--"

"It doesn't matter if there's a war, Fugaku." Minato interrupts, standing up. His chair falls behind him with a loud clatter, but he doesn't bring himself to care. "It matters that I left him there.  _ I  _ left him there, and I was denied, but you have a chance. You can demand a formal audience, and request his body back. I'll retrieve it myself, but he deserves to be  _ here _ . Home."

Fugaku stands up too, his eyes hard. 

"If you'd have let me finish, I would have agreed to assist you. In these times," He starts again. "It's going to be difficult. Paperwork and request petition movements have grinded to a halt. The Hokage is pressed for time and as swamped as the rest of us in work. To get an audience will be difficult. And to get him to agree…"

"We have to do it."

"We're going to try," Fugaku eyes him warily, and an embarrassed shiver runs down Minato's spine. He shifts, meeting the man's pitying gaze. "But Minato, if it doesn't work, are you going to be okay?"

"I'm going to have to be." Minato says numbly, then changes his expression to confidence. "But we  _ aren't _ going to fail." 

"Alright." Fugaku replies, with an unreadable  _ hitch _ in his tone that makes him nervous. "Come back tomorrow then, and we'll start on the paperwork."

" _ We _ ?"

"We." Fugaku snorts. "You didn't think I would do it all by myself…?"

Well, if Minato was being completely and utterly honest, he had sort of hoped so. 

**_____ **

It smells of fish and fried vegetables when he gets home, filtering out into the warm summer night's air outside. His hands are steady as he works his key into the lock, but his head was anywhere but  _ there _ . He steps inside, calling out softly. 

"Tadaima."

Kushina peeks her head out from the kitchen. Her hair's pulled up on top of her head and she's wearing her favored  _ Caution: Extremely Red Hot  _ apron. "Okaerinasai!" She calls back, grinning at the sight of her husband. "Kakashi! Your sensei's home, let me finish that!" She disappears back into their kitchenette, animatedly shooing the boy out. 

Kakashi drifts out after that, but it doesn't surprise Minato to find him here, especially since it was Kushina that offered to take him home. If it hadn't been her loving pestering and coercion, then she'd dragged him back here by the back of his shirt. 

(Or maybe he'd wanted to come. It'd been like that when Minato began teaching Kakashi, when the boy would linger just a touch too long on the training field while his sensei gathered up their supplies. When he'd look blankly relieved and almost grateful when Minato would awkwardly invite him for dinner. 

And when Hatake Sakumo had committed--  _ well _ , when he'd died, sometimes Kakashi would just show up on their doorstep. More times than he can count, he'd feel the gentle shudder of chakra on his doorstep and open the door to big black eyes and uncombed silver hair waiting patiently for his attention.)

Minato ruffles his hair softly, "How do you feel?" He asks, throwing aside his vest onto the couch and sinking tiredly into the cushion. He stretched out his limbs, feeling knotted and exhausted and far too exposed. The boy sits beside him, stiff and jerky, not meeting his gaze. 

"Kakashi." Minato repeats, sitting up and leaning forward. He gently grasps the boy's shoulder, which was a safe zone for them that had taken years for them to work up to. Kakashi wasn't someone that favored touching, especially if it was unsolicited, but they'd agreed upon shoulders and hair as a negotiated safe-touch area between them."Are you alright? Does something hurt?"

_ Does your eye hurt? Do you need me to run to the pharmacy for pain medications? Do you need ointment or chakra or--? _

Kakashi says nothing.

( _ Please let me help you. Please let me be useful. _ )

"Kaka--"

"I'm okay." The boy's entire body heaves, jerking like the words were being dragged out of him by force. He shifts, giving his teacher a blank stare, obviously exhausted if the dark bruises blooming under his eye was any indication. "Are  _ you _ ?"

Minato's not sure of whatever look was on his face, but he smooths it over. He lets his practiced smile take over, shaking his head, and running a hand through his hair. He gives an awkward, forced laugh that makes him cringe just to  _ hear  _ it. 

"Of course I am."

Kakashi relaxes, letting himself open up some. Small steps were best with the boy, like digging with a teaspoon in the dirt until you reached the roots of a tree. 

"Where have you been?"

Minato's always been a fast thinker, a flash in more ways than just the one. 

"I spent today with the Hokage, going over some details of the last mission." He lies, because it isn't in good taste to explain to his youngest student that he had waited all afternoon just to inform the Uchiha head of Obito's death. (And then plot against the Hokage's direct orders to disregard his student.)

It's the wrong thing to have said, however, because his student's face hardens up immediately, becoming guarded and weary. His body stiffens, and Kakashi jerks away from him with finality. 

"You're lying." It doesn't come out as an accusation, instead it was more of a fact. "A runner for Lord Hokage came by earlier." Kakashi informs him, already reverting back to his closed-off, mercurial temperament. "You've been requested. Again."

Minato's smile falters, though he manages to keep a straight face. "Ah, you caught me. You really are the most perceptive, Kakashi." He leans in close to the boy's face, mind whirling. The words aren't spilling out of him honestly, they're lies that taste like plastic on his tongue. "I'm actually trying to avoid Lord Hokage right now. We got into a little disagreement."

"Over what?"

Minato hesitates. 

"Tell you what." Minato reasons, although he must not have much ground left to stand on with Kakashi's patience if the guarded irritation in his body language is anything to go by. Which it is, because that's all he has to go on right now. "I need to figure a few things out, before I can tell you. It's...a private matter for right now, okay? I don't want you to get in trouble over it until I can figure out if it's anything worth pursuing or not."

Which is the safest way of petitioning the Hokage and flat out ignoring his requests, especially during war times when that can and probably will be looked upon as an act of treason. To ignore a summons was almost unforgivable, but Minato was relying solely on his own petulant anger and the lack of  _ now  _ and urgency in the request, which gave him a thin line of understanding to balance on. To drag Kakashi into it would be unacceptable, and without a doubt, it could potentially hinder his entire future career as a shinobi, so Minato had to distance his team from their own government for the time being. 

Kakashi doesn't seem to want to let the subject drop, which doesn't surprise Minato like it did when he was seventeen and just starting out as a genin captain. The boy had been willing to argue and  _ demand  _ answers, as if the very act of not knowing was somehow a rule that was being broken and would ultimately lead to his demise. Kakashi had always forced himself into every situation, just to have the knowledge that might be useful later, but now he's matured, because all he does is nod curtly. 

"If you--" Kakashi lets the words linger in the air for a moment, like a kunai thrown up high and now coming back down without a clear destination. "You can trust me. With secrets. If you need to. Even if they break the rules, I can--" He stops short, but he's genuine and so  _ so  _ grown up now that it hurts his chest to think about how much the boy has changed. 

"I know." Minato settles his hand back onto the boy's shoulder, squeezing gently. "Let me figure it out first. Make a plan. And then I can tell you, alright?"

Kakashi nods silently. 

Kushina calls them for dinner. 

**_____ **

"I should've invited Rin to eat, too, y'know." Kushina squints down at the pans of food settled onto pot holders to keep from burning their table. "This is way too much. Guess I overdid it, but it smelled so good! You  _ two _ ." She stuck her fingers in both of their faces, giving them a pinched up, almost demonic expression. "Had better eat seconds." 

"I could eat the whole pan, just because it was cooked by you." Minato cooed out, almost jokingly, but also very  _ very  _ seriously because he absolutely would eat a mountain's worth of anything that Kushina cooked (not ramen) because it was always just so good! 

"Aw, flattery won't get you anywhere." Kushina grins all the same, serving food into their plastic bowls and plates because for some reason they couldn't manage to keep glass or ceramic from shattering. (Okay, fine, sometimes Kushina lost her temper and threw them, and sometimes Obito dropped them, and  _ one  _ time, Minato used one like a shuriken to get Kakashi off of Obito.) She nudged his shoulder. “How was your day?"

Kakashi intervenes before Minato has a chance to either lie or tell the truth, "He spent the day with Lord Hokage." He answers, picking up his chopsticks, twirling them between his fingers. It's one of his tells, when he doesn't want to eat, he'll distract your attention away with movements. Minato nudges the steaming bowl closer. 

"Ooh," Kushina's hair shields her expression from his student, and she gives him a  _ knowing _ look (also known as her  _ we'll-talk-about-this-later-don't-fuck-with-me  _ stare) before it shifts back into playful and cheery. "Somebody's popular with the big guy, huh? A messenger came to request you earlier. Again, apparently!"

Kakashi glanced at his sensei, obviously trying to shift the topic off of the Hokage and whatever it is that Minato had going on. "Aren't you hungry?" 

"Of course.” Minato replied, fumbling with his own utensils. His stomach flipped at the idea of putting anything in his mouth right now, but he wasn’t about to complain about  _ that _ of all things. Kushina had worked hard on dinner, so he’d force it down if he had to. 

Kushina, master of distraction and abrupt conversations, eases them both back into safer, more dinner-appropriate territory. 

" _ Well, I _ spent my day with Kakashi-kun. We went to get lunch together. Not ramen, because somebody has no taste.” 

Kakashi huffs softly. "You're right, you don't, but we've learned to live with it. Even Guy has more taste than you."

"Which guy?"

"No," Minato interjects. "His friend-- I mean _rival_ Guy. The boy in the green suit."

Kushina looks stricken. 

“Who would name their son  _ Guy _ of all things?” The redhead swallowed a mouthful of hot rice quickly, seemingly mulling over the question. “I sure as hell wouldn’t, y’know?” She glanced at Kakashi, giving him a sideways look. 

“Hm?”

"Then again, your name is  _ scarecrow _ , so I can see why you're friends with him." She set the bait, just like  _ always _ , just enough to set a little flame of childish annoyance, and like fly to honey, Kakashi went for it. 

"What kind of name is 'Kushina'?"

"A fine Uzumaki name!"

Kakashi scoffs, "Is it?"

And just like a moth to a flame, Kushina gets sucked up into her own argument, taking the new bait in stride. 

"Yes!" She huffs, pointing her chopsticks at him like she was holding a kunai in her hand, and absolutely just as threatening about it. "You don't-- I-- I-- It's a brilliant name! My mom was a genius for thinking of it!"

"Pity that she didn't pass any of her intelligence down to you then." 

Oh that little shit. Kami, Minato  _ loved  _ him. 

"KAKASHI!"

And now one of their  _ plastic  _ bowls was broken. 

**_____ **

The Hokage sends another messenger the next morning. 

Her voice was strained as she bowed, offering a sealed scroll with an anti-tampering mechanism wrapped tightly around it.

"Please, Namikaze-san." The ANBU tells him with a soft waver in her voice, obviously trying to contain her irritation at being sent out for the same person three times this week. "While Hokage-sama respects your mourning and recovery period, we must ask that you report to him as  _ soon _ as it's convenient."

_ (That's code for "you should have been there yesterday, and you know that, you actual idiot of a shinobi.") _

Minato's smiling, tilting his head to the side. 

"Of course." He replies cheerfully. "As soon as it's convenient."

**_____ **

He, very  _ pointedly _ , does not show up that afternoon. 

Or that evening. 

Or even the next day. Or that week. 

It's simply  _ not  _ convenient. 

**_____ **

Fugaku sends for him to have another meeting with him. 

It should have alerted him that something was wrong when the meeting was requested to be at a local bar in the Uchiha district, which almost put him off. The Uchiha are, without a doubt, the most loving and versatile people that Minato would ever have the pleasure of meeting (although there were some with attitudes that correlated with long sticks where the sun doesn't shine), so he only hesitates a little. But he can't decline, not after having begged Fugaku for his help to begin with and not after having pushed the limit so  _ far _ in avoiding the Hokage. 

Minato isn't entirely comfortable in the district, feeling entirely like an outsider, used to only venturing so far as the Police Force Base and Mikoto's house, but he finds his way eventually with the polite smiles he's given as he goes and the helpful directions. 

However, what he missed in being invited to a  _ bar _ , he recognized as soon as he saw the older man. Just by the frown settled across his face, Minato can figure out that the situation hasn't improved at all with their paperwork, nor with any of their petitions. He sits down on the stool beside the Uchiha, orders a glass of water that makes both the Police Commissioner and the bartender roll their eyes at his modesty. 

"A beer." Fugaku orders instead, sipping at his own drink. He wiggles the bottle, frowning at it like it had personally offended him. "Two."

"Of course." The bartender slides two down the smoothly sanded wood with the grace of a shinobi. She winks at them with big black eyes, turning away to argue with her other customers, and Fugaku shakes his head slowly. 

"You would think it would sake or wine, wouldn't you? They're more formal, but…" Fugaku lets out a soft chuckle, somehow still held together even though it looks like he wants to fall apart. "Well, not all Uchiha are stiff and formal. Sometimes a beer is right, even for us." 

"Of course." Minato sips at his moderately, wincing at the taste because he wasn't much of a drinker. It came with the territory of being Master Jiraiya's student that eventually the scent of liquor and the foolish ramblings put him off of every wanting to get drunk enough to be just as idiotic. 

A handful of papers flutter onto the counter in front of him. Minato scrambles to grab them up, blue eyes scanning the papers that don't make much sense to him all together. A mixture of legal terms and run-on sentences and official stamps and signatures, just a pile of nonsense that he has to decypher. 

"A cease and desist order from the government of Konohagakure. Which, of course, is the Hokage." Fugaku's face darkens, twisting up into an exhausted anger. He runs a hand down his face. "They don't appreciate the fact that we've decided to flood every channel in their bureaucracy with more paperwork."

Minato skims through the rest of the forms, undeterred, even if the results weren't pleasant. He understood relatively  _ enough _ of everything to get the gist of what it was saying. Essentially, it was a very serious and legal reminder that the Hokage had already said  _ no _ about going back for Uchiha Obito's corpse, and to let the matter drop unless they wanted to make an entire debacle in front of the Village council that would ultimately fail. 

Minato downs half of his drink in one gulp. He needs the courage, liquid or otherwise. 

"They dropped it off this morning." Fugaku tells him, leaning back to stretch his back. There are more bruises under his eyes, and his shirt's wrinkled like maybe he left at his office overnight. Minato doesn't look much better, but he'll never admit that. "It's a whole situation. My rights as clan leader are being tugged right out of my hands with this order. The system has always leaned in favor of the Hokage rather than individual rights, but I thought at the very least we would get an audience before they told us no."

Minato lets his forehead drop into his palm, already beginning to feel the familiar thrum of a migraine forming there, his blood pressure raising tremendously. But he was famous for his grace under pressure and cool temper, so Minato manages to hold it together. For now, of course. 

"I was also told to inform you that the Hokage wants you to come to him, too."

"I know."

Fugaku's eyes are glossy and unfocused, but somehow manage to peel him apart as easily as skinning an apple with a knife. 

"Minato." Fugaku says slowly, every syllable of his name was slow and deliberate. "Minato, what are you doing?"

Minato fiddles with his drink, runs his fingers down the bottle parallel to the condensation beginning to bead down. It's technically treason, what he's doing. He's acting against the wishes of his superior, his  _ leader _ , which is going against everything that Namikaze Minato has ever managed to stand for, because he's always been a  _ good  _ soldier. He was talented, emotionally sound. The first time he'd sunk a blade into a man's neck, watched the light fade as the blood squirted across sandy ground like spilled paint, Minato hadn't even flinched. He'd distanced himself, easily managed to keep his own feelings at a distance until slaughtering hundreds of enemy shinobi didn't phase him, didn't make him feel any remorse at all. 

He was a  _ good soldier. _

But good soldiers didn't toe the line between treason and obedience, and Minato was currently dancing across it like a game of jump rope. 

"He's going to ask me to put my team back in danger." Minato responds, like somehow that's an answer. Fugaku rubs his face and shakes his head. 

"That's the life we all chose." Fugaku murmurs, always the enforcer, always one to keep things in line. To be the balance. "You can't keep ignoring the Hokage for their sake. They're shinobi." 

Minato can't help the burst of fury in his chest then, "I can't willingly send my kids to their deaths to fight for a village so willing to leave them behind. I can't--" He lets out a strangled cry, and finishes his beer. Catches the bartender's eye and waves her over for another. "It would be different, if I could just go get Obito. If I could-- could just have some reassurance that what they're doing  _ matters _ , that they aren't just tools, but people willing to die for the village. If I could just know they'd be dying for the right reasons, but…"

Fugaku's laughter is hollow and mocking, "Is there a right reason to die?" 

"I--" Minato had thought there was, of course. It was eating away at him. Obito had died a  _ hero _ , that was true, but at the same time, he'd been so young. A part of him understood that he had died on a mission for his village, for his teammates, for the Will of Fire. Another part of him was furious that Obito had died at all, that a child had been sent out to do a man's duty and lost his life so young. 

He'd never felt like this before. Minato had never been so conflicted about his duty, or his role as a teacher. His role as a shinobi didn't seem as honorable right now, or as important as it had been, and it disgusted him to think of how angry he really was about the whole situation. 

"I love this village." Fugaku continues on, although it doesn't sound like it from his tone. "I want to protect it, I want it to prosper, but there have always been problems with it. And this...isn't helping my feelings towards it." 

"Mine either." Minato takes a deep breath, smiling at the familiar pop of the lid off a bottle, and then of glass against wood. He wants to sink into the ground until he's so far away from every thought racing through his head that he'll never be able to get back out. "I just… I'm taking a stand. Obito died for this village, and I won't fight for it until they respect his sacrifice enough to let me bring him back." 

Fugaku scans his face again, expression unreadable. He understands, Minato hopes, because he scarcely knows what he means himself so he  _ needs  _ someone to get his point. How can he blindly love a place that doesn't seem to care about the deaths of its shinobi? How can he trust and follow the Sandaime if he refused to let him go back for his student? If this entire village was family, if they were all  _ family _ , then shouldn't there be more outrage? How could a shinobi be seperate from their emotions and still have the desire to protect their village as their own family? It didn't…

"It's treason." Fugaku finally settled on saying as he sipped at his drink. 

"I know." 

"You know." Fugaku repeats. "So you've thought this out then?"

Minato hesitates. 

"No entirely, no."

Fugaku snorts, "So then what exactly are you doing? You can't keep refusing the Hokage without some sort of plan." He shakes his head in amusement, as if somehow this whole situation is funny. "What are you trying to get out of this? Forgive my lack of understanding."

Minato pauses, not quite sure of what to say. He has to think over it for a moment. "I loved Obito like family." He says softly, even though it feels like he's in denial. 

A part of him still clings to a happy dream. Like he will somehow manage to get back to that pile of rubble, somehow dig and dig until he finds the Uchiha, somehow alive, somehow clinging to life. If Minato could just bring him back, maybe write to Jiraiya-sensei in the hopes he could find Tsunade to help  _ fix  _ him, that maybe the shambles of a team could be fixed. 

It's a useless hope. That isn't something Minato's ever had to experience in his life-- he's always clung to hope, even in the worst of situations, even when he was convinced the girl of his dreams was dead. But then he'd found strands of beautiful, bright red hair. A trail of hope, and he'd followed it all the way into her arms. Even if Obito had...had lived, he was long dead by now. Starvation, dehydration, maybe even oxygen deprivation; it had been half a month buried down there. 

"I just don't...I  _ can't _ just leave him--"

"He was your family." Fugaku raises a hand to silence him. "I understand." 

Because to an Uchiha, there was very little that can be said to them about family, love, even hate,  _ they _ were the most expressive of all types of familiar bonds. It wasn't something that had to be explained, not when it was ingrained into their very souls, like it was a part of their lungs, they breathed love. (Into their eyes, and Minato thought of Obito's being given to Kakashi, and it makes his chest ache in both pride and sadness.)

He continues on, though his voice slurs just a bit. "I suppose I should say you have an advantage. You're Konoha's Yellow Flash. A man of your strength and reputation...to refuse the Hokage would draw attention. You aren't the first to leave a loved one behind, it could draw supported attention."

"I don't need attention. I just need results."

"Then make them give you results." The Uchiha leans closer to him, clasping a hand over the younger man's shoulder. "Give him an ultimatum. Force their hand. Not everything is fair, Minato, and our attempts at being civil failed. So now we stoop to their level."

"It's the Hokage."

Fugaku raises an eyebrow. 

"And you're the Yellow Flash. The best of the village, the next Hokage-- don't argue, everyone knows it will be you. Who else could it be? The Saindaime's wayward students?  _ Me _ ?" And if Fugaku's tone turned almost hurt and bitter, neither of them mention it off hand. "No, it's going to be you. You have leverage, more than the rest of us. No, the Sandaime is weak-willed. I've heard he wishes to retire, and he needs you. You're the only choice, unless Konoha wants an Uchiha for a Hokage."

Minato gives him a strange stare, "What's wrong with an Uchiha Hokage?" He asks, genuinely confused. Fugaku snorts, shaking his head like he's told some sort of joke that Minato doesn't understand, but then again, he hasn't understood much lately. 

"It won't happen. Not in my lifetime. They need you. You're the obvious choice." 

"Well, if I'm so needed, it hasn't worked in my favor. He's said no to me thus far."

Fugaku smiles into his drink, small and exhausted. 

"Then give him a reason to say yes." 

**_____ **

Minato tells his plan to his wife, first and foremost. 

And her reaction?

She laughs. A wolfish, wild burst of laughter. Her nose crinkles up, her teeth exposed, and she throws her arms around him as the giggles spill out of her. 

"Give 'em hell, y'know!" She says, through her laughter. If this isn't her utmost approval then Minato doesn't know her at all. He lays his head against a jumping shoulder, wraps his arms around her as tightly as he can, and lets himself relax for the first time in days. 

"So you're alright with this? You're sure?" He asks again, just to be safe and sure. Because this is going to affect her as much as it will him, at the very least if only that it tarnishes his reputation and hers by default. 

"Give them hell, Minato." Kushina repeats, seriously. Her eyes are bright and furious and amused all at once. He could have fallen in love again just at that gaze. "For Obito." 

**_____ **

Rin's on time. 

It's not an official meeting, by all the regulations and technicalities that come along with scheduling those on the different, popular training grounds. In fact, this small patch of land isn't technically on the village grounds, if they're being detailed, and it isn't officially a place for training, but Team Minato has favored it since they began because of the river that flows nearby. 

Her fingers are pressing against the bracelets that jangle against her wrist with every movement. Her lips are pursed, eyes hollow and tired, but other than that, she looks well. Minato's glad about that, because she'll need her strength for the days to come. 

He kneels down by her side, hands in the grass, peering up at the bright sun that was mocking him with its heat and light, and Minato remembers how his teammates used to say it made his hair glow like polished gold. (One of those teammates is dead now, though Minato isn't privy to the cause, and the other one retired a year ago and had a child. Twins, actually. Minato got the announcement in the mail.)

"Kakashi's late." Rin says, although that's all the observations she's willing to give about the situation for right now. Minato pats her arm twice, gives her a reassuring smile, but he can't explain the boy's tardiness. 

They'd both left about the same time. Minato had actually stayed behind to find his missing sandal as Kakashi walked out the front door with a wave, and that had been that. Except now,  _ he's  _ here, and his youngest student isn't. 

(And if that new anxiety isn't eating away at his mind?)

He isn't very late. Only a couple of minutes past meeting time, but for Kakashi, it's like a warning sign of something to come. He's never late, but never early, always  _ perfectly  _ on time, like he has an internal clock that aligned well with his chakra to make him come on the dot. 

Not today. 

There's a flutter of leaves. A breeze through the tree branches, and a gentle  _ stroke  _ of chakra.

"I'm here."

"Good." Minato smiles, patting the dirt and grass around him to welcome him into their half-circle, motioning him down. "We're having a quick meeting."

Rin hesitates, glancing at her teammate as he drops down onto his knees. "Is it about…?" But she doesn't say much else, and Minato can imagine a million things to put at the end of that sentence so he prattles on.

"I'm going to…" Minato doesn't know exactly how to phrase it. He digs his fingers into sandy dirt and dry grass, until hard rock meets his fingers, but he loosens his grip. "I'm going to do something that could affect you, and could affect my standing within the village. And because of this, I need to talk to you about it. Because it could affect  _ all  _ of us, and if you tell me not to do it, I won't."

"It's about Obito." Kakashi says plainly, disheveled and not meeting Rin's wide-eyes. Her mouth opens and shuts quickly, like she's staring at a gaping wound that she needs to decide between healing or suturing before they bleed out. Her lips are pressed thinly in understanding. 

"Yes." Minato reminds himself to work on some sort of soundproofing seals that would stop the eavesdropping going on in his own house. "Yes, it's about Obito. And what's right when it comes to bringing his body home, and something about laws I don't understand quite yet."

"Is this why you've been ignoring the Hokage's summons?" Rin asks, her lips quirking into a smile at his confused stare. She smiles shyly, shaking her head. "Kakashi and I talk." 

That didn't happen often before. It was an improvement, because there had always seemed to be a shield between his students. A glass wall between Obito and Rin, keeping Kakashi out. Or maybe it was Kakashi keeping them out. But it seemed to have shattered now. 

"Yes. I've been ignoring the Hokage's summons. He and I are having a disagreement, and I'm trying to show I'm serious about the situation. I don't want it to affect either of you. I can find you a temporary leader while I'm away, or maybe Kakashi can fill in as a jonin for a while, but--"

"You expect us to continue on without you?" Kakashi asks suddenly, rising to his feet, his single eye wide. His whole body jerked like every muscle was at attention, and Minato goes to grab him, but he pulls away. "We're a-- a team."

"If you're protesting, we'll do the same. We're one of the most skilled teams of our generations, and medics are in short supply. They need us." Rin explains patiently, like somehow she was going through his head and taking every reason he was using for herself.

"I can't ask that of you!" Minato protests, but it comes out more as a plea, because this could potentially destroy their lives. It would either smother out quickly, letting Minato retrieve Obito and return to his duties. Or it would escalate into a mess that would brand the blonde a traitor and a coward if the Sandaime decided to be difficult and refuse. But he couldn't let it go, and he couldn't put it on his team to suffer for his decision. "I can't let either of you do that. It would be violating the integrity of being a shinobi. It would...would be breaking the rules." 

Rin's smile doesn't falter. "Breaking the rules is the reason I'm alive, Minato-sensei. I'm not afraid." She responds, far too calm and far too pleasantly, as if she were agreeing to extra training sessions instead of actual disobedience to her Hokage. 

(Even Minato isn't feeling that calm. Even he's having doubts that make his stomach hurt and his toes curl and his heart ache in his chest. He isn't sure where she's getting her bravery from, but he wouldn't mind some of it.)

Kakashi's gaze is steely. His shoulders are rigid and his fists are by his side. It's the same look he had when Minato had to drag him from his father's corpse. "If we have to do it, we have to do it. We can't just leave him behind." He says with finality. "We  _ shouldn't _ have left him behind."

"No," Minato replies. Runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head. "But we can try and fix that."

* * *


	3. figuring it out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a little shorter than my usual chapters but the next one is gonna have a lot of action and talking to the Hokage so it'll make up for it
> 
> sigh 
> 
> you just know danzo would get involved. this started out as a team minato thing but you know what, let's tear konoha apart

* * *

Minato actually runs out of things to do fairly quickly. He refiled the paperwork with a few…

_ Stronger  _ words, which basically came out more as a threat than anything else. He just made sure it was absolutely clear that he had no intentions of taking on any new assignments with his team until the issue of Uchiha Obito had been resolved. 

(And not resolved in the eyes of the village, where they give him a false chance, pretend to mull it over, and then deny him again, but Minato doesn't write that down. He does, however, heavily  _ imply _ that it's in the village's best interest to give him what he wants to make life easier on all of them.)

But it will take a few days to get streamlined back to the Hokage, even with the Uchiha clan's influence on the matter and Fugaku's official seal. Minato's wallet isn't strong enough to support another bribing session to try and speed things along, especially since he's basically unemployed so he relies solely on the system to kickstart and get everything in motion. 

So he's out of things to do in the meantime. 

He's already cleaned the house, rearranged furniture, cooked two different meals for his students  _ and  _ delivered it. He's been over to the Uchiha district to play with Itachi a few times this week, much to the little boy's delight and Mikoto's tired resignation, and finished up a few old designs for seals that he'd put aside. 

He'd even done laundry! And not even with that fancy new machine that Kushina had scrimped and saved for with the three settings and the loud buzzing as it spun, but by hand in the sink like he did when he was young. It was hanging up, mockingly still wet so he couldn't begin to fold it, and he was desperate for any type of stimulation. 

To be honest, he's going stir crazy. It's maddening to not have anything to do. His hands fidget constantly with the urge to...to…

Do anything. He might even take up origami just for the chance to have something productive and time consuming to fulfill whatever void he has left over from the boredom eating away at him. Minato was a shinobi through and through, rising with the sun to begin his day, but with all this leisure time, his body was high-strung with pent up energy.

He bounces his leg, waiting on the couch, glaring at the laundry that hangs up outside through the sliding doors. It was still wet, after an hour in the hot sun, and Minato could  _ scream _ if given the chance. He bounced his leg harder and faster, still fiddling with his hands uselessly. This was maddening! What do civilians even do with all this free time? Minato  _ knows  _ they have jobs, but after that? On weekends? 

Minato realizes his leg is moving too fast, sending cramps all the way up his leg until it begins to pinch up and ache. So he throws himself into another position, one leg over the other. He glares at the thick, boxy television that Kushina had  _ begged  _ to pool their money together and buy. It wasn't a fancy thing, thick and heavy, with three knobs on the side and a little button. There was a remote on the table with a few buttons that Minato's never bothered with before-- when would he have the chance? Between missions, training, dinners with his team or the Uchiha, late night war room councils, and the dozens of other small tasks he had, he never took the time to actually mess with it. The few programs that Kushina watched were often on late so Minato slept through them. He hesitates, but then grabs the remote. 

It's  _ something  _ to do, at least. Unless he wanted to visit his students again, but that probably wouldn't be entirely welcome. Kakashi made it very  _ painfully  _ clear that he absolutely was not welcome in his apartment after Minato had rearranged all of his things. And Rin's father had basically locked the door on him, barring him from his student, insisting that he needed to  _ find someone else to bother, she's trying to rest!  _

So, Minato would give television a try. 

He clicked the red button, pointing it. Kushina had demonstrated enough times for him to know the basics. The screen made a long static noise, slowly fading the black into color with a fuzz to it. A woman's face was on screen. Wide smile with a tint of grey across her teeth where the TV's coloring wouldn't go white.

The woman let out an overdramatic, wild cry.  _ "Oh, Hiro! Don't die over this!"  _ She swings forward, throwing herself on top of a bound man. He was dressed somewhere between a samurai with thick armour, but with a shinobi's weaponry attached to him. Minato's eyebrows furrowed. 

"It's  _ rope _ ." He said dumbly, leaning forward for a better view. "Just cut the rope! You have your weapons pouch right there! Or use your chakra?"

Except the man on the screen did  _ not  _ do that. He began to monologue about his love for the woman, Princess Sesame, and how willing he was to die to unite their people, or something like that. Minato's mouth drops. 

"Use your chakra!"

_ "Go on without me, my Princess! Go, leave! You'll love again." _

_ "Love again? No, no, I could never. You're the air in my lungs, the blood in my veins, I can't-- no, Hiro, no! I'll die right alongside you, rather than live a moment apart _ ."

Minato gasped. He leaned back, tilting his head. Okay, so she was a princess, but she couldn't stop his execution? Or maybe it was a different nation, and she had no power. But to die with him? 

The swordsman loomed closer and closer, the music in the background fading. One boot against the wooden platform. Thump. Thump.

Minato leaned way closer, eyes wide. This was really going to happen? 

"They're really going to die? But she's a princess?"

What kind of show was this? Minato's mouth dropped as the princess cowered, laying on top of her shinobi lover. The executioner raised his blade, which was far too bulky to actually be used for an execution what was he thinking, and--

_ "The Heart of the Shinobi will be back after these commercial messages!" _

Minato let out a disappointed groan. 

**_____ **

"Minato?"

Kushina ducks her head into their dark apartment, eyebrows furrowed. She tilts her head to the side, straining her eyes. The living room was completely dark except for the light glow of the television screen in the middle of the room--

"What the fuck?"

Kushina strolls past the darkened kitchen, glancing outside through the glass doors to the balcony. Was that their laundry? What was it doing outside at this time of night when she'd worked  _ weeks  _ of extra shifts for that fancy new dryer? 

"Minato?"

There was a lump on the couch. It was a shifting bundle of all of their blankets, and the couch was somehow pushed  _ closer _ to the TV? 

"Yes?" Came the muffled reply from the swaddle of sheets, and two blue eyes peer at her from the edge of them. 

"I'm home…?"

"Welcome back." Minato sits up, his hair wild and stuck to his cheek. There are light bruises under his eyes, a soft tint of red to his eyes. A bag of uneaten sweets lay sprawled against his legs. 

Kushina blinks dumbly, unsure of what to make of the scene. She stalks closer, moving in front of the television to shut it off when he jumped. 

"No!" Minato cries out. "I need to see if Princess Ayame lost the baby!"

Kushina flinched away from it, as if she had been burnt. He was wide-eyed, grasping the remote like a knife, fully prepared to chuck it. It hits her then what the hell she's looking at, and it sends her into convulsions. 

"Are you fucking with me?" Kushina cackled, rolling her eyes at the hysterical, frantic man in front of her. He very gently (smart move on his part) guided her to the side, away from his precious television set that he swore he would never  _ ever  _ use. "Kami, you're watching a soap opera!"

"It's  _ The Heart of The Shinobi _ , Kushina." Minato replied, gesturing vaguely at the characters on the screen. He huffs, shaking his head. "And you  _ don't  _ understand. Princess Sesame's lost twin sister  _ just  _ found out she was pregnant at the same time as Princess Ayame. And one of them drank the poisoned tea! Who knows who's lost the baby? I hope it's the twin sister, personally--" He rambled, dead serious, as if it were happening in real life to actual friends of his. As if any of that nonsense was real. 

Even  _ Kushina  _ didn't actively watch soap operas. They were far too dramatic and inaccurate, and without a happy ending anywhere in sight. Kushina enjoyed drama, but not so tacky and unending. However, it seemed Minato spent all day going through the reruns. 

"So I'm going to assume you didn't make dinner?"

Minato didn't respond. 

Kushina shook her head, far too amused by the whole situation. "Fine.  _ I'll  _ make dinner. Tell me what happens to Princess Ayame."

"I will." Minato promises.

**_____ **

"So do you have any plans on going to bed tonight?"

"Hmm?" Minato raised his head up, blinking away the obvious exhaustion. 

"Bed." Kushina replied. "It's already midnight."

"Oh." Minato gestured vaguely back at the television screen. On the screen, a woman was shrieking at the top of her lungs about a poisoned kimono and a dastardly cat. "Oh, maybe just one more episode. I need to know if the samurai got into the palace."

Kushina snorted. "Okay then." 

**_____ **

Minato blinked, looking up from the screen. There was a fork in his hand, still from dinner, because Kushina hadn't managed to get his attention enough for chopsticks. 

His half eaten dinner was still on the table in front of the couch. He was leaning forward, elbows on his knees, picking at the rice. A small smile graced his face, and Kushina could've died happy at the absolute joy in his expression. 

"Oh, Kushina." Minato said, almost like he didn't know she'd b _ e _ en there the whole time, eating her breakfast in the kitchen. "How was your mission yesterday?"

"I kicked those bandits' asses." Kushina quirks an eyebrow at him, crossing her arms over her vested chest. "Did you seriously stay up all night watching that stupid show?"

"No! It's only mid-- it's morning? How is it morning already..." Minato's mouth dropped wide as he saw the light sky of the early morning out the glass doors. His laundry blew pathetically in the morning breeze, and he jumped up. "The laundry!" He cried out, bolting outside to collect the long forgotten shirts. 

Kushina cackled again.

**_____ **

A week goes by as quickly as it could. Minato's days are becoming more and more trivial in that time, because he's beginning to look forward to the little things more than he probably should. 

He enjoys meeting with Kakashi for lunch. He enjoys racing home at 1pm on the  _ dot  _ for a new episode of his new favorite soap opera, which wasn't something he thought he'd ever enjoy. He enjoys shopping with Rin, although he doesn't spend any money when he goes out because his savings aren't much right now. With Kushina being the only breadwinner, Minato's wary of spending his money on little, unnecessary things right now until he goes back to missions. 

(A part of him wonders how long this will go on. There haven't been any more messages from the Hokage, but there  _ also _ hasn't been any more ANBU dispatched to him which means he has to be well aware of what Minato's pulling, right? He has to know. So how long until he breaks?)

All this spare time is giving him too much time to really think over his decisions, which isn't good for something as reckless as what he was doing. Minato is a  _ good  _ shinobi, a good soldier, he's the prime example set by his village, and he's outright refusing missions. Logically, he knows this could be grounds for imprisonment, execution, torture, or  _ worse _ . 

Worse, he could be expelled from being a shinobi, altogether. The longer this drags on, the more and more Minato has enough time to start dreading his decision. There's a war going on, and his friends, his comrades, they're still out there. Fighting. Without him. Minato has always tried to humble himself, but even he has to acknowledge how useful he is on the battlefield. How necessary he is to every person he fights alongside. And without him out there, more lives would be lost, more ground taken in the war, more and more and  _ more _ . 

Minato feels ill. He takes a deep breath, adjusting a shaky hand on the spray bottle as he mists his plants. His favorite succulent, his October Daphne, wasn't doing so well, but it was nothing a little attention couldn't fix. Minato tenderly strokes his soft round leaves, which were tinted a soft brown. This was easy enough. This wasn't stressful. 

He could be there for his plants. He could keep 

"Come on, Little Guy." He says to the plant. "You know you want to get better. Kushina will get you a new pot if you bloom when she gets back from her mission, okay?"

Little Guy doesn't respond. If anything, and Minato isn't one to exaggerate, it actually starts to  _ look  _ worse. He sighs, shaking his head, gently pushing him closer to the window sill. 

"A little sun might help…?" He suggested to his favorite plant out of all the greenery he's managed to convince Kushina he  _ absolutely  _ needs. 

Little Guy doesn't respond. 

A leaf droops. 

**_____ **

Medical ninja are required to attend at least three psychiatric workups every five years, although there is a waiver which can limit that to only one per five years if that's what the shinobi feels is in their best interest. For major trauma situations, such as transplanting one's best friend's eye into a teammate's eye socket in the middle of foreign lands with enemies looming outside, there's an automatic visit required, especially if written up by a superior. 

Minato hasn't done enough good in his life, especially not by his students, so he signed off on the required treatment a week or two after that unfortunate mission. Psychiatric visits were generally shameful affairs, especially in the shinobi community where trauma and fears and  _ the not quite together  _ mentality was shoved aside and ignored until it consumed them. But Minato knows that the civilians enjoy it, and one visit wouldn't humiliate Rin if it technically counted for her one visit every five years. 

(He hoped it would do some good for the poor girl. It wasn't hard to notice the exhaustion in her eyes or the strain of her smile. The mournful, wet expression that drifted onto her face when she let her head hang, hidden beneath brown hair. Minato worries for her.)

He waits by the back of small shop for her. She doesn't tell them what appointment she had exactly, only that she was willing to meet somewhere afterwards for lunch. Minato  _ knows _ what's happening, even if Kakashi doesn't, and he coordinates appropriately the distance between a restaurant and the small facility that housed the psychiatric center. 

It's midday, and Minato isn't wearing his vest for once. It was always easier to wear his normal Jōnin uniform out in public in case he's called out on duty quickly, but now he's in his civvies. A loose shirt and shorts, leaning against the back of a building that he's never been in before, waiting patiently for his student. Kakashi was staring at his sandals, frowning beneath his mask  _ probably _ , arms crossed against his chest. The bandages across his eye are stark white, fresh and crisp, and Minato wants to say he's pleased to say that his student is taking care of himself, but he doesn't. 

He doesn't know exactly what he's supposed to say anymore. Minato generally stayed back from conversation amongst his team, usually letting Rin and Obito take over the topic and chatter until they could include themselves. Silence has become a new normal now, especially without Rin to try to make small talk. 

"Sensei." Kakashi says suddenly, like a knife twisting through the older man's belly. It's an old paranoia, he thinks, but Minato startles dumbly at the word. He blinks down at his student, nodding his head. 

"Yes, Kakashi?"

Kakashi stares at him for a long moment. His visible eye was blank and without any discernable emotion. He kept his stare for only a second before looking away. 

"It's nothing." He said smoothly. 

Minato leans down, putting an arm around Kakashi's shoulders. He crouches, meeting the boy's eye again at his level. 

"Kakashi, you  _ know  _ you can tell me anything, right? I should've made that clearer to you-- to  _ all _ of you before." Minato tells him, hoping it might help. Even a little. Kakashi was always someone that swallowed down his pain and set it aside until it ate away at him later. And after what happened to his father, and now to Obito, Minato knew that there would be plenty of regrets and painful emotions to shove aside until the poor boy shattered apart. 

"I know, Sensei." Kakashi responds, not quite meeting his eyes. His single gaze was more pointedly aimed at the bridge of Minato's nose and stayed there. "It's really nothing." 

"Okay." Minato lets it go, standing up. He stretched out his limbs, which ache less than they have in months, somehow feeling loose and comfortable. A shinobi often has a strain on their body, a consistent thrum of discomfort that stayed with them throughout their missions and their brief time home, but Minato felt alright for the first time in a long time.

They stand there for another ten minutes, cooled by the shade of the building that shields them from the summer sun. The silence they slip into is comfortable now, more reasonable than before, but something isn't right. Something feels  _ off _ , almost like--

Like being on the front lines. Almost like he's standing in enemy territory, surrounded by figures in the dark that he can't quite see yet, but that he knows are there so he can't relax. Every part of him is on edge, almost, and Minato tries to shrug off the feeling. Instinct tells him  _ fight or flight _ , and he's alive only because of his gut feelings so he steps closer to Kakashi. 

He scans the rooftops around then, searching for whatever was causing the sudden uncomfortable aura in the air but he finds nothing. Minato presses closer to his student, turning his gaze down to the busy streets filled with off-duty shinobi and civilians that are starting the lunch rush. Nobody seems off, from what he can tell, but he scans through them for any looming threats anyway, cursing himself for leaving most of his weapons at home.  _ Most  _ being the key word, because no shinobi is foolish enough to leave home empty-handed, but he doesn't have enough to fight off more than twenty attackers, more if he refuses his supplies. 

(Who would he have to fight this deep into the Village? Surrounded by so many allies?)

His attention is pulled away by the sound of sandals against the ground, the familiar scrap of them. Rin appeared down the alleyway, her hand waving in the air in greeting. Her face was red and sweaty. 

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Sensei. Kakashi."

(There had been a time when she had added a fond honorific to the end of Kakashi's name, Minato mourned quietly. Those times felt so far away now.)

"Not a problem!" Minato said cheerfully, trying to distract himself from the strange feeling of weariness that he couldn't quite shake. Under the guise of guiding them, he pressed his arms around both of their backs protectively, taking the flank position. "Let's go have lunch."

"Right." Rin agrees pleasantly, clasping her hands in front of her as he shoves them along. She looks significantly lighter than before, almost more put together. 

The smile Minato gives her is genuine and blinding. 

**_____ **

After lunch, with their takeout boxes in hand, and Minato finishing tipping the sweet waitress that got just a little too handsy when she  _ accidentally spilled  _ water over his trousers, he thinks they might just be safe now. 

"We could go to the Uchiha district?" Rin offers up when they all start to awkwardly wander through the shopping district. "To speak to Fugaku-sama?"

Kakashi doesn't look particularly thrilled by the idea. He shrinks into himself, shaking his head. "We shouldn't go to a clan house without an invitation." He says quietly, always the stickler for that sort of thing, although it's something deeper than rules if the flash of sadness in his eye is any indication. 

Minato moves in step with both of them. Right, everything is alright. They've enjoyed a good meal. They need to make plans of where to go and what to do next. That's easy enough, right? It was just the time in the frontlines still in his bones, making him jittery and paranoid. Everything is alright now. It's safe. 

"How about we--"

And like with everything that he thinks or does recently, Minato is wrong. 

He stops dead in his tracks, arms extended to pull his students back  _ and  _ pull a kunai from his sleeve, twisting his body within a second to defend his kids. The ANBU that appears doesn't seem phased by the sudden reaction, although their muscles tense just slightly. 

"Namikaze-san." The ANBU says, except there's something wrong that Minato can't quite place. Instinct tells him  _ to fight, fight, fight _ . Every goosebump on his body rises with the same gut feeling he's gotten in the field before a battle, and Minato thinks something horrible is about to happen. 

"ANBU-san." He replies in turn, still pushing his students back, still clutching onto his blade. "What can I do for you?"

"The Hokage has sent for your students to be brought to his advisor, Lord Danzō."

Minato isn't entirely sure why that would be because the man wasn't someone that he ever imagined requiring the presence of two recovering children, no matter their ranks. He kept his face blank as every part of him cried out to keep his students the Hell away from this ANBU. 

"The Hokage ordered you to come tell them to go to Advisor Danzō?" Minato repeats, although it isn't necessary. "Why not report the Hokage himself? What does Danzō-sama need with my students?"

Danzō wasn't an unknown figure, not entirely. He was popular amongst the orphan population of the village for offering shinobi-training and opportunities, although there were some... _ rumors _ about his methods. Minato had met him once or twice in the presence of the Hokage, although they hadn't spoken more than a few sentences, but there had always something  _ off _ about the man. Some called him a warmonger for his resistance for treaties or encouraging war efforts rather than peace talks. Others were more in awe of his talent and prestige, going on to reiterate his connection to the Nidaime. Rumors circulated, some better and some worse, but one thing remained the same. He had  _ no reason  _ to request Minato's students, and absolutely no authority. And why would the Hokage send them to him anyway? That same pinched feeling in his stomach returned, and he didn't trust the situation. Something wasn't right. 

The ANBU straightened up, their arms behind their back, where Minato can see a tantō resting half-way drawn. "I've not been told the details, Namikaze-san, but I do not question the orders of Lord Hokage. If I may escort them now."

It isn't a question. Even still, Minato's answer is absolutely fucking not. 

"In just a moment." Minato says, putting his knife away. He extends his hand to the ANBU expectantly. "If I could see the summons?"

The ANBU didn't say a single word. But their fists clenched at their side, and they took an aggressive step forward. Rin's big brown eyes turned to him with a questioning he couldn't answer at that moment. 

A summons was given to every shinobi sent out to retrieve another shinobi, especially of a higher rank. Generally they're written out directly by the Hokage, or by his official secretary or Lead Advisor, although it's directly signed by the Hokage. Most of the time, nobody really bothers with giving them to the shinobi that's being summoned because who would actually lie about being asked for by the Hokage? Official protocol says it  _ must be shown _ to the shinobi being summoned for verification, but Minato hasn't ever done that since he's been a shinobi. Nobody does the official protocol. It's just more useless clutter, so they get thrown out after the mission is a success anyway. 

"My  _ apologies _ , Namikaze-san." The ANBU said with fake politeness. "It seems I did not stop to retrieve the official summons. My mistake, I hope you can forgive my blunder."

Minato smiles just as fake. "Of course I can." He pulled his students closer to himself. "But protocol is protocol, and I'm trying to instill good habits into my students. When you have the summons and can verify the request, show it to both of my students, and then they can go to Danzō-sama. Have a nice day, ANBU-san." 

"Namikaze-san--"

Minato encourages both of his curious, almost shocked students down the road towards their respective houses. He twists around again, out of their line of vision. 

"Enough." He says lowly, keeping his expression calm, trying to hide his fury. "You wouldn't want to make a scene in front of the entire village, ANBU-san?"

The ANBU didn't say a single word. Their chakra twisted into a furious  _ exhale  _ around them, and then they were gone. 

Minato goes to his students quickly. "We're going to be asking for summons from now on, alright?" He informed them, glancing around the rooftops for lingering eyes. 

"Of course, Sensei." Rin said, pausing. Her face twists in thought, like she wanted to say something, but couldn't quite grasp at what to say. "Minato-sensei, I've never seen an one of the Hokage's ANBU with that sort of mask before."

"Me either." Minato admits, keeping his hands on both of their shoulders. 

**_____ **

Fugaku let out a very loud, exaggerated sigh when he came into his office. His uneaten ration bar was clutched tightly in one hand, almost mournful about the fact it still wouldn't get eaten in his  _ one spare  _ moment he'll get today. 

"Minato, I really think we need to discuss how often you can come unannounced to my office." He says, shutting the door. His secretary's seat was empty since she had went to take a lunch break, the lucky girl while Fugaku was stuck with meeting after meeting after fucking meeting. He made a mental note to tell Kiyomi to stop allowing Namikaze Minato to just waltz into his office without any sort of invitation. It would start to affect his reputation. 

(It was bad enough that Kushina decides to just bound into his bedroom in the middle of the night so have a slumber party with Mikoto. Or that  _ Fugaku _ is the one that has to leave to sleep on the couch so Kushina can have his side of the bed.)

The blonde sitting in the chair perked up immediately. "Fugaku. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me." He chirped, far too unbearably  _ bright  _ with his wild golden hair and bright blue eyes. Had Fugaku never noticed that about the man before recently? 

"I didn't" Fugaku replies, rounding the desk to throw his uneaten ration bar back into the drawer. He wasn't that hungry anyway, no matter how his stomach growled. Ration bars tasted like nutrients and wet sand. "What can I do for you, Minato?"

Minato glanced at him with those bright blue eyes that were uncomfortably perceptive. He adjusts in his seat, glancing up over the desk at the drawer with the ration bar. He held up a box from a local restaurant that was outside of the Uchiha district. 

"Do you want my leftovers? You look hungry. If I had known, I would have brought a full--"

Fugaku reached over, snagging the box from his hands with unnecessary aggression. Anything was better than the ration bar and water he had planned on consuming or nothing at all. He opened the box with delight, fighting an arrangement of fish and rice, pulling a pair of chopsticks out of his pocket. 

Fugaku unceremoniously shoved a piece of sashimi into his mouth, glancing up at the blonde shinobi with a questioning expression. He tried to convey  _ you have twenty minutes to talk before I have to leave and I absolutely will not reschedule them for your nonsense, speak now. _ Which Minato seemed to understand because his expression smoothed out into a serious neutral. 

"What can you tell me about Shimura Danzō?"

Fugaku swallows hard, straightening up in his seat. He pushed aside his food for a moment, already knowing he's going to need to push a meeting back by an hour if  _ this  _ is the topic of discussion. He leans back tiredly. 

"What exactly do you need to know?" He replied, shaking his head and pulling out a thin file. 

**_____ **

Minato had only been pissed off five times in his  _ entire life _ . Sure, he's been angry before. He's been  _ very  _ angry before. But he's only ever really been pissed off a handful of times in his entire life. Once when he found out his mother had been assigned what basically amounted to a suicide mission that she did ultimately die from; another when he realized Kushina had been kidnapped and the Village wasn't doing anything to retrieve her quickly enough; third, when he realized that the village made Kakashi go out into the Konoha graveyard bury his father himself; and then finally when he found out Obito had died and he hadn't been there to protect him. 

And the fifth time? Right now. 

"Alright." Minato says brightly to his students, as he goes through Rin's room, packing up her stuff and shoving it into the backpack he found on her floor. "I think it would be best if you both stayed with me for a few days, while I settle a couple of things."

Rin trails after him, helpfully picking up a couple of things to add to his random assortment of shirts and winter pants that are far too hot for the weather. Kakashi has his own backpack in his arms, having undergone the same treatment half an hour ago. 

"Is this about that ANBU?"

Minato nodded firmly, glancing at the pair of them. After finding out about everything that his friend knew about Shimura Danzō and the Police Force's very private investigation that led to dead end after dead end where missing children were involved and internal affairs left unexplained. 

_ "He's an advisor, which amounts to a certain respect, but I've heard he involves himself in situations that do not involve him. Things that effect the village…" _

_ "Like my open refusal?" _

_ "Exactly. Just be careful, Minato. There's just...a lot of things about him that don't make sense. And won't make sense as long as the Hokage protects him and turns a blind eye. Maybe I'm looking too far into it, but I advise caution."  _

Minato picked up a small box that looked to contain just hair ties and a few sewing needles. He held it up and Rin shook her head, so he put it back in its spot. He continued around the room, stopping at the drawers so she could pack her own undergarments. Rin took her bag and continued to pack up a week's worth of stuff, just enough to give Minato time to think about what to do in this situation. 

It wasn't something to take light; Fugaku's warning. If the Police Force couldn't even legally have the investigation open again Danzō (which was treason just for Fugaku to have the meager things that they did find in connection to him), then there was something wrong about the situation. And Minato couldn't let anything happen to his students, not after he'd already failed them once, and especially after something he started that Advisor Danzō deemed worthy of his attention. 

He felt stupid and young. A failure of a teacher, just out of his depth. Minato had always been such a prodigy, always been faster and better and stronger. People praised his name since he was just a child, they spoke of him like he were something extraordinary. A perfect soldier. A shinobi of a finer caliber, or something like that. Jiraiya praised him as a child of prophecy, or something like that.  _ A better world under you _ , he'd said to him one night when his teammates were asleep. But Minato had never felt like anything special once he became a teacher, not even close. 

He made mistake after mistake with these children. Dozens of them, starting with his legal guardianship of Kakashi. Allowing the poor boy to bury his father alone in the dark, training him hard like he wanted and neglecting his emotional needs. He didn't get the boy the help he had needed. He favored Kakashi so greatly that it was obvious to the others, and he knew it was. Minato let them make jokes at Obito's expense. He let everyone make jokes or jabs at the Uchiha, because he had always been so sure the boy could take it or laugh it off. He relied too heavily on Rin to smooth out the issues in the team, to calm the fights between the boys. To gloss over the fractures in teamwork and heal up the bruises that Minato should have prevented. He was unemotional when it counted. Too strict or too lenient. He had been lost, and he hadn't properly prepared those kids for war. 

Or maybe he shouldn't have let them out into the field at all. Minato could've stalled their progress, refused to allow them to take the chūnin exams and kept them genin for longer so Kanabi bridge had never been an option. He should've recognized they were young. They were children. They-- Obito shouldn't have died, Minato should have done  _ better _ . He should've figured something else out to stay by their side, to protect them. And now he's dragging them into a bigger mess, and grasping at straws as to how to protect them.

(There's a nasty, treasonous, disloyal side to him that's almost  _ relieved  _ that they're not going out into the field while he fights for Obito's body. The world is horrible and cruel, and Minato had never thought about losing a student before until it happened. He doesn't want a repeat performance. It's one thing for  _ him  _ to die, he's an adult. These are just kids. His kids.)

"Minato-sensei?" Rin startles him out of his thoughts. He almost flinches, but contains himself. He has two sets of concerned eyes on him that are watching him for leadership and guidance. "I'm ready." 

"Do you want to speak to your parents about where you're going and why I'm taking you?" Minato offers, because that's the responsible thing to do when he's essentially stealing a child. There would be some lying involved, but at least it would put them at ease. 

Rin smiles, shaking her head. "It's alright. They trust you."

Minato really wished he deserved that trust. 

**_____ **

Minato checks on them in the guest room  _ one more time _ . Just one more to assure himself that everything was alright. Rin's asleep, her arms curled up around a spare pillow as she drools slightly, her other limbs spready out wildly. He fights back a quiet bout of laughter at the sight, and then he glances across the room at Kakashi. His mask is still on, but his breathing is sound and even. 

Minato isn't even sure why he's so worried. Kushina had seals in place all around the house, specifically windows and doors. Minato had helped with their design himself, and he knew the house was secure from the steady thrum of chakra he could feel through the floorboards and walls. Still, it had become a habit to check on his students as often as he could, even more now with these circumstances. He took off his fluffy, bright blue robe when he entered his bedroom, resting it against chair that Kushina used when she was writing out mission reports. His wife was already in bed, sitting up with a lamp and a romance novel with a handsome, green-eyed man on the cover that made Minato smile. He was  _ handsome _ , he'd give the guy that. 

Kushina closes her book, setting it aside. 

"Everybody accounted for and tucked in with their goodnight kisses?" She teased, scooting over and patting the warm spot where she had been sitting. Minato dives into bed, rolling his eyes and buryjng himself in the comforter. 

"I do not give them goodnight kisses." Minato whined into the pillows, curling up into himself as the past few weeks decided to come crashing down on him all at once. 

Kushina hummed, and he could  _ hear _ her mocking grin. "But you're not denying that you tucked them in?" She said with a laugh. 

Minato said nothing at all, feeling his face burn with the blush creeping up. Even his ears felt hot. Kushina sighs, and then he feels the weight of her hand on his head. A comforting motion. The lull of her fingers twisting in his hair made the world take a step back as his mental and physical exhaustion began to take its toll, but he tried not to sleep often. More than once he dreamed of Obito and his death, each time more and more horrifying since he  _ hadn't  _ witnessed it which gave his imagination free reign. 

"What are you planning on doing?" Kushina asked softly. "I can see a million things goin' on in that thick head of yours, y'know."

Minato mumbles into the soft pillow, turning his face just enough so she can hear him. "I'm going to the Hokage tomorrow. Paperwork isn't working. Not going isn't working." He sighed, his whole body feeling like it was made of lead. Kushina tugs a knot out of his hair, detangling it in a way that almost stung, but he didn't mind. 

"Is that the best idea?" She asked, not unsupportive but very curious. "I thought the point was to refuse his summons?"

"More like refuse any missions. But I can't keep ignoring the problem anymore. I need to discuss it with him. And get him to keep his advisor from my students." Minato frowned into the soft fabric, because something about that ANBU still didn't settle right with him. It wasn't one of the regular masks used by the ANBU that were in the Hokage's office or that had been sent to get Minato before. It was different and similar at the same time, and he felt like he was uncovering a lot more problems than just going to get Obito's body. 

Kushina kept stroking his hair. "You'll do the right thing." 

_ I haven't before _ , but he doesn't say that. He offers her a tired smile, and she has that look of understanding that could have brought him to tears right then. 

He falls asleep to her hands massaging his scalp and doesn't dream. 

* * *


	4. picking your battles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Konoha isn't...the best place, if you think about it. 
> 
> And the Third Hokage wasn't the best guy either, now that I think about it. 
> 
> Hmmm....

* * *

"Ah," The Hokage says with his pipe between his teeth. "I see you answered my summon with haste." His expression isn't surprised, but there's some animosity in the air around them. Minato offers him a curt nod, closing the door behind him. The hum of chakra buzzed above them, not completely concealed but just enough of a lightness not to trigger any reaction from anxious, frontline shinobi when they arrived back to report to the Hokage. His personal ANBU. 

Minato made sure to keep track of the chakra, of the movements and positions, just in case the situation took a more violent approach. He stood in front of the desk, hands clasped behind his back in usual routine. Habits were hard to break, so his mockery of respect would have to do for now as he examined the old man that he had once revered, but he finds little of that admiration left. Instead of seeing the Hokage, Minato is left unimpressed by the wizened man that stares back at him with his faults and humanity. Fallible, he realizes. Mistakes could be made by this man, he was no better than Minato or Kushina or the ANBU that surrounded them. 

Fallible. 

Minato doesn't understand why that bothers him. 

"I came as quickly as I could." Minato responds, keeping his tone light and unaggressive as he gains a feel for the situation. 

The Sandaime blows his smoke, letting the heavy scent of tobacco overtake the room. Minato doesn't ask before he drags one of the spare chairs from the corner of the room to sit down. He breaks all formality and protocol, even waving the thick, horrible smelling smoke away with his hands where before he would have just accepted it. He slumps down into his seat, feeling the start of a headache brewing beneath his skull from the stress of the situation, and their conversation hasn't even truly begun yet, has it? 

"I see we're past our usual humor," The Sandaime settles down his lit pipe on his desk, far too close to the piles and piles of paperwork for Minato's comfort. He gives Minato a blank look, obviously trying to size him up without being too discrete or obvious, giving him time to backtrack or apologize. 

Minato will do neither. 

"I think we're long past a lot of things," Minato replies, and he could already hear his mother in his head, scolding him for talking like that to the Hokage. "I've come to check on your decision regarding Uchiha Obito? I'm sure you've received the paperwork by now, along with the formal clan request. We've only sent them three times. Or was it four?" 

The Hokage sat back in his own chair, eyes narrowing. "I would think we would be more concerned with your lack of your response. You realize that ignoring my summons is treason?" He easily avoids the topic that's been on Minato's mind for nearly two months, and he fights back the icy anger that slowly begins to build inside his chest. "I'm sure you understand that you could face consequences for your actions?" 

"I know." Minato replies easily. "But that's a risk I'm willing to take." And a calculated one, a dangerous one. "So it's your choice if you want me to be arrested, or taken to T&I. Maybe even executed." But he isn't afraid of any of those options-- had never been  _ afraid _ . Death had always been looming, even as a child during those first few years at the Academy when novice children were handed sharp objects and expected not to poke each other in curiosity. Torture, imprisonment, death; all things to be expected in this life, to categorize inside the mind and put away for a time when one could be allowed to be afraid. And for a shinobi, that time never came. 

"I'm willing to overlook it. I understand your grief. I've lost many of my own teammates. Uchiha Kagami, one of your student's relatives. His body wasn't salvageable either, Minato. Such is the way of things." Sandaime lets his face soften into false sympathy. It couldn't grieve him to have lost his teammates if he could say that. If he could say his name without flinching, without any real grief. It aches every time Minato had to say Obito's name,  _ every time _ . It stings him to think of him, to think of how he died, of how he was left.  _ Salvageable _ , like old kunai that could be reused or sharpened, or broken headbands that needed new cloth, or other stupid unimportant things. 

If the Hokage had any chance of reasoning with Minato on his own terms, he had just squandered it. 

"You mean you'll overlook it if I start taking missions again." 

"You have a responsibility to your  _ village _ . A duty to serve." The Hokage confirms, still dancing around the subject and refusing to answer with straight words. Reminding him of his duty, as if he had forgotten at all. 

"I have a responsibility to my students. To protect them, to teach them. To bring them  _ home _ ." 

Sandaime makes it a point of picking his pipe and sucking in a deep breath. The smell of it and the warmth of chakra in the air doesn't settle him, it just makes his stomach twist at the familiarity of the gesture. 

"In my experience," He says in a low tone, blowing the smoke from his mouth and nose. Biting. Baiting. "You protect and bring your students home while they're still alive." 

Minato nearly hurls himself at the man, nearly tears apart the room. Is it really Kushina that holds the Kyūbi because he feels a thrum of furious chakra course through his veins, going straight through his limbs like lightning. His body shifts and he feels the jumping of chakra from the ANBU in the rafters. He doesn't mean to be provoked, knows he can't afford it, knows he's better than this. He's always managed to keep a level head in the field, always managed to pull himself together in the worst of situations. He's been surrounded by dying men, voice lost in the screaming and wailing, completely gone in the heat of battle, and he's managed to prevail with a steady voice and calm mind. All of that is gone, and Minato's fingers cramp as he tightens them around the creaking wood of his chair as he tries to keep himself there before he does something he might actually regret. 

He goes through the whole speech he'd been preparing and practicing since the morning prior.  _ Clarity, Minato _ . Fugaku had explained to him as they fretted and schemed on what to do and say.  _ Be precise and simple. Tell them what you want. Be prepared to give them hell if they refuse it.  _ What had he planned on saying? What had he planned on doing? Minato strained to find a calm as he settled his chakra inside of him like putting steam back in a boiling kettle. 

"Let me be clear," He grits out, narrowing bright blue eyes and forcing himself to go back to his usual demeanor. "I'm not willing to participate in any assignments until Obito's body has been brought back."

"Minato--"

"You said that we don't have the manpower to waste on a body retrieval mission. Not during war times, right? They aren't priorities." He continues on, before he loses his temper or the Hokage can further rub salt in his wounds. "But the way I'm looking at the situation, you're losing manpower anyway by not allowing me to get him back. All you can do is try and salvage my time." 

"How so?"

Minato leans closer. He keeps his face neutral and his voice steady, as if he were planning at the war table. "I'm the Yellow Flash. My chūnin students are exceptional. Almost every major battle or mission in this war has included my team. Every moment we're within the walls of the village is a moment we aren't benefiting the village." He folds his hands across his lap, finally trusting himself not to lunge over the desk. 

The dark eyes that peer back at him were unreadable, although there was an air of disbelief around him. "You would bring your students into this?" He asked quietly. "It isn't enough that you've elected to dishonor the sacrifice of every shinobi that came before you? Those that willingly died for this village?" 

"How many of those dead shinobi didn't get to be brought home?" Minato retorts, shaking his head. "How many didn't have a kekkei genkai so they were just left behind?"

"It's a body, Minato. You must understand that this will not bring him back." 

"I know that. I  _ know _ that, but you don't leave people behind. Especially not your team."

"Hatake Sakumo had the same track of mind, and we know what has become of him. I'm sure you understand the ramifications of your actions, Minato?"

"You won't say his name again. My student's father isn't a justification or a threat." Minato warns, already thinking three moves ahead. He wished he was Nara, because they had an intelligence he lacked at the moment. He could already see the whole situation turning on Kakashi if given the chance, bringing up his father and his death could be detrimental to the boy's already fragile state of mind after losing Obito and gaining his new eye. It wasn't something that Minato could protect him from if the news spread that the boy was following in his father's footsteps by following Minato. 

"My mind won't be changed." The Hokage replies steadily. 

"Why not?" Minato demands suddenly. "The principle of the matter? Because disobedience won't be met with subjugation? You could put this to rest with one easy body retrieval mission." He throws out, because he understands it to an extent. But it seemed too simple of a solution to pass up, too much of an easy way out for the Hokage to stand so firm. 

"If I give in to your demands, when will it stop? Should we retrieve every single body, even if it leaves us at a disadvantage?"

"Yes," Minato snaps. "Yes, if they died for this village, they deserve to be buried in this village. What if it had been your son that had died?"

"It wasn't my son." He replies calmly. "And it wasn't yours. Your obligations as a genin instructor were completed when they became chūnin. My mistake was allowing them to stay under your leadership if this is the reaction that it entices. Shinobi do not have attachments, Minato. I understand what you feel, but--"

Minato stands before he realizes it. The seat behind him clatters to the floor, so loudly that it surprises both him and the Hokage. 

"With everything going on with Kumogakure," He warns, his heart beating madly in his chest. Everything in him is shrieking, fight fight fight, but he keeps it pushed down and keeps himself as calm as he could manage to be when all he wants to do is scream and shout and do every single thing he couldn't before when he was the perfect soldier. "I don't think you can afford not to have me in the field. You can arrest me. Execute me, even, but then again, you can't really kill me. You  _ need  _ me. I'm not backing down, and you can't afford to let me go."

"I'm not changing my decision."

Minato's smile is tight and stressed, "Not today. But you can't make me go on missions, and with the losses we're taking from Kumo and Iwa. I think I just have to wait you out. How close are you willing to go to losing the war before you give up?" He replies, going towards the door and shaking his head. "If you want to arrest me, you know where I live. I'm being cordial with you because I want this to end with us on decent terms, but if you send Danzō-sama after my students again, I won't be so reasonable."

"Danzō?" The Sandaime doesn't change expression, doesn't make any discernible change of posture. But there's a strange look in his eyes, a strange confusion in the air. "Noted." He replied dryly, his anger and irritation almost palpable. 

Minato realizes then that his suspicions were confirmed. Even the Hokage wasn't aware of what his advisor was doing, seemingly surprised by his interest in the man's students. His stomach twisted and he turned back, walking out of the office with his mind reeling at what happened. He hadn't expected compliance, but the meeting had gone worse than he'd imagined. 

"Minato," The Hokage calls out. He doesn't turn around, but he does stop. One foot out of the doorway, lingering. He glances backwards out of the corner of his eye. "Are you really going to allow your comrades to die in this war when you could prevent that? Would you really put that blood on your own hands?" His voice is far older than it should be, hoarse and worn down by time and stress. Minato lets the words slide over him like water on a duck, offering a nonchalant shrug that would have made a Nara proud. 

He'd laid out his terms, all that was left was to wait. One glance at the clock in the hallway tells him he'll be home in time for his show. Good, at least the wait won't be boring. 

**____ **

"So what happened, Sensei?" Rin asks, kneeling on the floor, her hands pressed over Kakashi's eye as she examines the slow healing process there. "Are we going to get sent out to get Ob--" Her voice tapers off and she hurriedly covers Kakashi's Sharingan before looking up. The silver haired boy doesn't flinch, but he curls his knees closer to his chest, not even moving to breath as Rin finishes her examination. His spine stiffens, and his gaze is anywhere but on her. 

Minato lingers in the doorway. He slips his sandals off, moving towards them with a strained smile. 

"Just a little more time," He assures, although it feels more like he's telling himself that any of the kids around him. "Just a little more, alright?" 

Rin's face is understanding and disappointed, just enough to make Minato feel worse about the whole situation. The conversation with the Hokage weighed heavily on his mind, all the little digs into his failures, the heavy loss lingering on his skin, it all ached. He huddles close to his students, debating his next few moves in his mind as everything around him reels back out of color, like the vibrancy has fallen out. It feels like he can't breath, can't move, can't think. His chest  _ hurts _ , as if somebody was reaching in and twisting everything inside of him, crushing his lungs. What if he was wrong? What if what he's doing-- what he  _ did _ \-- was the wrong decision? Like moving a piece on a game board, somebody's made a mistake and now both players can tell who's going to win, but it doesn't feel like Minato is the one with the advantage. It feels like he can't see who made the wrong move. 

"Minato-sensei?" 

If he's wrong, if this doesn't play out the way it did in his head, if this  _ doesn't work _ he isn't the only one going to suffer. Obito is going to remain buried beneath boulders, rotting in foreign soil, betrayed by his own teacher and village to stay without a proper funeral because of his Sharingan. Rin and Kakashi-- he shouldn't have brought up their names, shouldn't have said a single word about them being involved in his little rebellion. Imprisonment, torture and interrogation, whatever the hell the advisor wants with them, or even execution if the Hokage deems them expendable enough to lose. All of Minato's cards were on the table, and he was beginning to feel like it was a bad hand. Everything, every advantage he had was based solely on the village's  _ need _ for him, for them. If this failed, he was dragging everyone around him down with him. Kushina could face punishment for her knowledge of his crimes. Could Fugaku be incriminated too? Or Mikoto, by extension-- no, no, she has a little son. She can't be imprisoned or killed or--

Kakashi has his hands against his face. Small, freezing cold hands. Minato jumps, a little too late because he isn't sure how long Kakashi's been clinging to his jaw. 

"Sensei?" Kakashi says slowly, glancing backwards at Rin. He looks afraid, almost, as if he were staring at a ghost rather than his teacher, and there's a wall built up in his eye to keep Minato from gauging a reaction. "Sensei, you need to breathe." 

And maybe that's why his lungs ache, that's why his head spins and his body shakes, and Minato sucks in a breath that hurts his chest. Kakashi leans back off of him, sitting on his knees in front of him, still staring at him with that terrified black eye that didn't match the one underneath the bandages. 

"We watered your plants for you, Sensei." Rin offers up as a distraction. Her hand is against his wrist softly, over the radial artery like she had been checking his pulse. Her hands are steady and firm against his wrist, as if she were trying to keep him anchored right there to that very spot. "Little Guy is doing better. He doesn't have any little spots anymore. Right, Kakashi?"

The boy nods silently. He wasn't one to fill in silences, more content to let his teammates chatter except the loudest of them all was  _ gone _ . And Rin's mindless prattle was far too thought out and too genuine and comforting in a way that didn't come close to feeling organic. It made him smile weakly. 

"Oh?" He grits out, even if it feels like the whole world is falling apart around him like grains of sand through his trembling fingertips. 

"And that cacti that Kushina likes is doing well. There's a flower now," Rin continues on, not moving her fingers. Her voice doesn't waver. Minato sucks in another gulp of air, nodding along. Good, good. Keep breathing, please, please keep breathing. "And-- Kakashi-kun, what time is it?"

"12:52." 

"Almost time for that show you like!" She said cheerfully, her smile too tight around the cheeks. "I think I'm almost caught up? Kakashi-kun had to explain everything about the samurai posing as shinobi-- that's not possible in real life, though, is it? Samurai can't use Ninjutsu like we do." 

Kakashi's voice is quiet, "I like Fujio, though. I'm hoping they don't discover and execute him." He offered up, because their teacher had dragged them into his new obsession with the show, and Minato gave them both a trembling smile. 

"I like Fujio too, but he's trying to kill Princess Ayame." 

Minato stands up, padding his way over to the couch slowly. Rin's grip on him doesn't loosen, but her eyebrows knit together and she mouths something unreadable at her teammate. Kakashi shrugs very quickly, barely a motion. A prickle of doubt wells beneath his skin, like there's ice pressed beneath his skin and slowly melting away. He gives them both his most confident smile, settling on the couch. He picks up the remote, confidently pressing the button until the screen gave a soft  _ whish _ of static as color began to fade into the screen. It isn't the right channel, but Minato doesn't feel in the mood to watch the show today-- everything is weighing too heavily on his conscience for something that would make him  _ happy _ . Nobody says anything about that, and they don't say anything about whatever is playing. It's some sort of basic explanation of Ninjutsu in nature and animals, probably one of the civilian shows that are all science based. It's going to be boring, and if Kushina were here she would whine and throw herself around and huff and puff until they changed it to one of the action-based shows on the very few channels they got on this side of Konoha. 

The man on the television set has no inflection in his tone, none at all. He's the sort of boring that made Minato's skin itch as he goes over the role of animals and trees in the balance of chakra within the Land of Fire. Something is thrown in about the Shodai that doesn't sound true-- not exactly anyway, but it's said in a very boring tone with the utmost certainty that Minato thinks most people would believe it. His hands twitch uselessly, but Rin doesn't move her hand. Kakashi balls himself small enough to fit on the empty space between him and the armrest of the couch where the cushions shifted into wood. He's squished in between them, and they don't move their eyes from the screen, but he can see the tension in their shoulders. Almost like they were reacting to his own feelings, and Minato does a scan of his home for a long moment. The windows are open, wide to let in the warm breeze of the dying summer, and he  _ wants _ to close them as the little whisper in the back of his head from the frontlines whispers about how easy somebody could slip inside. 

_ You've made yourself and them the enemies of the village _ , that paranoid part tells him, but Minato is confident that the Hokage isn't sending ANBU for his students' heads. Maybe for him, but he's confident Sarutobi isn't foolish enough to come after his students, not knowing they were with him. Minato has killed a thousand men, one after another, faster and faster until he'd stood in a field of dying or dead men and half-formed seals, and he hadn't had a single regret, not even one because he'd just wanted to protect his home. He'll protect these two, if he has to. This is the first time the sour taste of guilt has lingered in his mouth. Guilt for Obito, guilt for his team, guilt for everyone in the village that he's letting down. 

_ Guilt, guilt, guilt.  _ Eating away at his belly like rot, killing him slowly but with the ease of sepsis in the blood. Minato offers his students another brilliant smile that shakes at the edges from the strain. It isn't very convincing, but he hopes it reassures them somehow. 

They don't say anything to each other after that until Kushina gets home late that evening. 

* * *

They're getting groceries when he sees an ANBU on the rooftop of the building nearby. Minato sees them, keeping his gaze there as they watch him back. 

Rin's at the register, still haggling prices because apparently there  _ was  _ an issue with paying full price for dented cans and  _ one  _ singular eggplant that was bruised (he didn't even know that they could be bruised) which meant it needed to be discounted. Kakashi was beside her, eyes wide and mildly impressed, as she went over prices and angrily dented a can  _ herself _ although Minato couldn't hear anything. 

Minato slinks forward into the shadows of the alleys, keeping his eyes on the ANBU and still staying in sight of the shop where his students were. He shifts the plastic bag in his hands onto his shoulder. He isn't sure who sent them; maybe the Hokage, maybe Danzō. It doesn't matter, he decides, because he has no intentions of making this easy for them. Not at all. It would be different if he was alone, if they had chosen to come when he was by himself and would be more agreeable, but he has his students with him. 

They (another appearing on the opposite rooftop) inch closer towards him, without any killing intent, but they have their hands on their blades. 

Minato waves at them pleasantly. He offers a smile, making a show of pulling out a kunai as he lets his chakra slowly linger around him. His senses waver as  _ danger, danger, danger _ spreads into his blood and his adrenaline pumps, but he keeps himself calm and still. He points his kunai at them, extending his arm, not even as a movement of harm. Just keeps it pointed at them, just in case, just as a warning. 

They still. 

Minato has fought hundreds of men, practiced and perfected his techniques and skills through dozens of missions, fought off the best of all the Hidden Villages, even gone toe to toe with even Master Jiraiya and  _ won _ . Again and again, Minato has won. He's always won. Of all of the things he's faced, from Raikage to Kiri Hunter Shinobi to Jiraiya's drunken dares, he isn't one to be shaken by much. He can't afford to be at the moment. He isn't afraid of two ANBU that are coming far too close to his students. 

The two ANBU seem to be afraid of him, however. They watch him for a few seconds more, inching backwards and then disappearing entirely. He puts aside his blade, whirling around to walk back into the street. 

"Minato-sensei?" Rin asks, appearing at his side with vibrant eyes. Kakashi had his hands in his pockets, the bags hanging off his thin wrists with a shell-shocked expression. "I saved us twelve ryo! Here's your change." She pressed his money back into his palm. 

Minato smiled at them, ruffling Kakashi's hair. "Are we banned from this store?" He asked gently, letting his gaze linger on the rooftops to search for anymore danger.

"I think the manager was too scared of her to ban us." Kakashi replied with a amused lightness to his tone. 

**____ **

"Minato, I am  _ not  _ your personal therapist. You can't keep offering me food as payment to vent about your issues," Fugaku says through a mouthful of sticky rice, ridiculously shoved the crumbs from his other food off his paperwork and onto the floor. 

"Then stop accepting the food," Minato replies as he sets an unopened box of mochi from the vendor down the street that was once an ANBU back in the Nidaime's time. The good, expensive mochi that were the sort of thing that Fugaku wouldn't have the time to go get or to wait in line for, but Minato had  _ two _ students he could force to wait in long lines for things so there stood the offending, beautiful box of sweet treats. 

Fugaku glowered, but accepted the box with a quick snatch off the desk into a drawer. His eyes never left Minato's as he angrily shoved another bite of rice. 

"Mikoto won't feed me when she's angry at me," Fugaku mutters under his breath. "And she'll hide the pots and pans so I can't cook either." His attention shifts away from his own woes, and he points his chopsticks at the group of kids huddled around his secretary as she gleefully shows off her collection of desk knick-knacks that had been evidence in important cases at one point. There was a particular rusted kunai (which seemed to be uncleaned blood that had stained it a muddy brown) that Rin seemed to have taken a keen interest in, her eyes bright as the secretary dropped it into her hands. The woman made a show of using a pen to act out whatever gruesome murder had occured with it, dramatically throwing herself out of the rolly chair and onto the floor, the pen pressed against her knee as if she'd been impaled there. 

Rin  _ beams. _

"And you can't just bring your students here." Fugaku grumbles on, leisurely stuffing his mouth with one of the yakitori, nearly eating the skew the meat was one. His other hand twirled around an ink brush, and he somehow still managed to continue to get work done as he ate. "This may be news to you, but this is a  _ workplace _ in a private clan district. We're a government funded facility, and you just drag these kids in here."

Minato leans back, his lip jutting out in a pout that felt a little childish, but he straightened his shoulders out. "You bring Itachi-kun in here all the time. I saw him scolding a chūnin over proper attire once."

Fugaku swallowed hard, "That's different." 

"How? He's actually  _ younger  _ than my students." 

"I don't like when you do this. You take advantage of me." Fugaku replied, just like the grumpy old man that he portrayed himself as these days. Minato felt like he could  _ see _ the added fifty years on the man, and he imagined how angry the Uchiha clan head would be if Minato asks Kushina to get him a cane for his birthday. Well, that was a thought for another day. 

Minato's smile is diplomatic and far too wide, "I'm sorry you feel that way." 

"No, you're not." He wipes his face with a spare napkin from his desk, huffing with Minato tries to lean over to see just how deep the drawers were for him to always have  _ just the right thing  _ inside. "Minato, my friend, what exactly do you want me to say?" 

"That everything's going to be alright?" 

Fugaku doesn't look very impressed. In fact, his face falls into an unimpressed neutral where he crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back in his chair until it makes a very unhappy  _ squeak _ on the hinges. "Everything is going to be alright." 

"Maybe say it like you believe it?" Minato suggested weakly. 

"I believe it." Fugaku intoned back at him, although his face softened after a moment. He let out an exhausted sigh, lips twisting into a tired smile. He leaned across the desk to pat at his friend's shoulder. "Minato, your guilt is exactly what they want. It was a deliberate point that he made to  _ hurt _ you until you cave in--" Fugaku's lips pressed together firmly after he realizes what he's said.  _ Cave in _ , Minato thinks in grief-filled amusement. "That was bad wording, I apologize. But my point stands, if anyone dies on a battlefield that you aren't on, it isn't your fault."

"But I could  _ save  _ them if I was there."

Fugaku shakes his head, "You can't be on every single mission, or every battle. Not every death that  _ maybe _ you could potentially prevent by being there is your fault." He shuffles through one of his desk drawers, letting out a pleased noise when he finds a bottle of sake hidden inside. He pops it open, pouring them into small glasses he finds in a third drawer, still hunching his shoulders so Minato couldn't see inside his desk. He slides one glass to the blond, and then downs it with one swift gulp. 

Both men grimace. 

"That's just water," Minato says, eyebrows furrowing. His mouth opens like a fish, and then his lips clamp down quickly in realization. "If you and Mikoto are fighting, then Kushina probably switched it to mess with you. I'm sorry." 

"No, you're not." 

"Not even a little." Minato chirped back. "That's actually a very tame prank compared to some of the things she's done in the past."

Fugaku's laughter is gruff and loud, and he shakes his head again and again. "Oh, I know." He breathes. "I filled out the police reports, and I had to have my ex-ANBU officers wrestle her into a holding cell. Kami, not even any liquor for this conversation. Look, Minato, guilt is an ugly thing. It lurks deep inside your chest until it feels like you can never be able to put it aside. And maybe some regrets never completely leave you, but this isn't one of those things. I can understand guilt when it is deserved, but what you're doing is tearing yourself apart over something that is not your responsibility."

"I could save them." Minato repeats uselessly, trying to express the helplessness he's feeling over that little dig that the Hokage made towards him. "But I'm doing this, and I don't want to give up yet. I want to bring Obito back, but I don't want anyone else to die because of me."

"Anyone else." Fugaku echoes, and he lets out a deep sigh. "Obito's death wasn't your fault, Minato. It wasn't anyone's fault other than the person that destroyed that damn cave. And lives lost in a war you didn't cause aren't lives you took." Fugaku continues on, although he settles a hand on Minato's shoulder in a shocking display of affection. "You are one man, and you aren't going to be able to save everyone. You can't even stop this war. It isn't yours to end. The Hokage understood what he was doing when he declared war, and those lives are on his hands. To put it on your shoulders because of how talented you are is selfish-- he isn't on every battlefield. He doesn't save the lives of those he sends out to die."

"He needs to be here to lead the village." Minato protests weakly. 

"There are advisors and councilmen to handle the administration. There's an entire system of shinobi that handle handing out and deciding missions, or to handle team sorting or budgets. He does not do it all. Clan leaders could easily step up to handle internal issues. He was chosen because he was the strongest, was he not? Sandaime-sama could save just as many lives as you, except he doesn't. He's sending us out to fight and die in a war he began, and blaming you when death comes. You aren't responsible for that."

Minato doesn't reply, trying to let the words settle into his mind except they don't. It feels like nothing is absorbing into his head except empty air, because his stomach twists with that ever present ripple of guilt and regret over everything, over Obito and over those battles he isn't fighting, and even over all the men and women he's slaughtered over the years that he didn't think about. The ones that couldn't go home to their families because of him, because of his actions, people like Obito that had their own teams and family that wanted them back alive. It all seemed so--  _ different  _ now, the idea of being a shinobi. It was a necessary evil, of course, and it was a system of kill or be killed, but it did little to alleviate the sour feeling inside his limbs that made him feel cold. 

Fugaku runs his hand down Minato's shoulder, letting it fall off his arm. "The Hokage is human. He makes mistakes, all leaders do, even myself. He holds my respect, because I believe he is a peaceful man, but even peaceful men can have darkness inside. Mistakes are made. This war was one of them. Don't let them make you do what you don't want to do or take advantage of your kind heart. You can love and want to protect the village, the people, and your comrades, but  _ still  _ acknowledge the faults in our government and leadership." He finished, leaning forward to press a hand to his temples, as if the whole conversation was giving him a headache, and Minato felt terrible for continually needing the man's council. 

It was reassuring, though, to have someone older than him that has more experience in government for guidance. 

"Thank you," Minato says genuinely, even if he doesn't completely feel reassured of... _ anything.  _ Fugaku inclines his head in a motion of welcome, but then his eyes are caught on Kakashi as he sits outside. The boy's eye is covered in bandages, which is the only solution that Minato could come up with in such short notice to keep the eye from draining Kakashi's chakra reserves. 

He's considered trying to seal off some of the chakra that goes towards his eyes, but Minato isn't convinced a single seal would do the trick. The optic coils of chakra around the eyes are so delicate that he would probably need a Hyūga to assist him as he attempted to place the seal, or a team of medical ninja with more experience in the chakra network than Rin has currently. Both aren't very easy options, and Minato has put his tinkering on a new seal on hold in favor of just keeping it covered for now. 

Kakashi's attentive watching the secretary, Kiyomi, as she shows off what looks like a plain toothpick that was probably somehow involved in a vicious crime for her to have kept it. He was nodding along as the Uchiha woman excitedly went on and on, although Minato couldn't hear anything being said through the window. 

"How is he?" Fugaku murmurs, tearing his gaze away from the silver-haired boy. Minato wonders if he's just asking about the eye, or if he wants to know how he's coping with his teammate's death. 

"Fine," Minato says, because that's true. Kakashi has been handling everything... _ well _ enough, especially considering how shattered he had been in the wake of his father's death. He eats, he sleeps, he trains some when Minato allows them out of the house, and he's more willing to engage in conversation with Rin. "The eye takes a lot of his chakra."

"That's to be expected. Just keep it covered…" Fugaku doesn't seem particularly pleased by his answer, and Minato notes the small shift of his frown. The glint of  _ something _ in dark eyes, and he presses forward. 

"Is something wrong?" Minato questions, feeling far too defensive over his student. "You know you can tell me."

"I meant to mention it before, but it seemed like you had more than enough to handle." Fugaku says diplomatically. "Did you know that before the village was founded, when all the clans were competing for missions to support themselves, the Uchiha were used mostly for espionage?"

"No…?"

"Our Sharingan made it easy. It memorizes every detail of what we see, and it stays with us the rest of our lives. It makes spying easier, I imagine, though I haven't been sent on any sort of missions. You would never be caught with information; it's all in your mind without a chance of forgetting it." Fugaku explains patiently, while Minato nods as he absorbs the information. He should know that, shouldn't he? The Academy went over the basics of some clan techniques in an attempt at diversity training-- the Nara with their deer, the Akimichi with their food pills, Hyūga with the Byakugan, and the Uchiha with their Sharingan. But his memory of such things is hazy and not very detailed. 

"Right. I'll let Kakashi know to be careful of what he sees." 

Fugaku nods, vaguely gesturing around with his hand towards the boy. "Not just that Minato…" He shifts in his seat, meeting blue eyes with the seriousness and authority of a clan head, of a true leader. "Minato, in our history, we have lost very few of our eyes. However, it's been said that those who stole them often ripped out the Sharingan out of desperation, madness. You can...sometimes see the permanent memories of the true owner of the eye. There's always a chance that Kakashi could see what Obito saw with his Sharingan."

Minato thinks it over, amazed by the Sharingan's vast abilities, and then struck by the wash of cold water as he thinks it through. "Obito didn't have it for very long." Minato realized, letting out a choked noise that might be a sigh or maybe the beginning of a cry. "But he had it activated when the cave collapsed-- Kakashi could see everything Obito saw before he died."

"Maybe even right before the eye was removed. It isn't ideal, but the Sharingan doesn't offer a way to remove the ability. I'm hoping such things are proven false, and that Kakashi won't be able to experience any of that, but…"

"I'll keep an eye on him." Minato swears, although it was more to himself and to Kakashi than to the Uchiha. An oath to try and protect his student, even from his own mind, and he made a mental note to speak to Kushina in case she notices anything off about him. "Thank you for letting me know."

"Of course," Fugaku replies. "The rest of the clan may not agree, but I want him to keep that Sharingan. It's...one of the few pieces of Obito that is left. I'd rather not have it removed, if I can help prevent it."

"I agree." Minato replies, flinching suddenly. "Is your secretary trying to light a fire out of a trash can--"

Fugaku rose from his seat rapidly, "Kiyomi! Kiyomi, we've talked about this! Kiyomi!"

**____ **

The tides turn in the war. Minato closes his eyes when he hears about the losses one night, and he wanders around his house aimlessly. He checks on Kushina again, even though he was just lying beside her. She sprawls out without him, her limbs wildly kicking and twisting in the sheets as she rolls across the bed. He shuts the door, glancing out the windows, searching the dark sky for any hints of enemy shinobi that won't be able to get inside. He looks for the strange ANBU that belongs to the Hokage's advisor, or for official ones sent by the Hokage himself to come arrest or dispatch them.

There's nothing except an empty sky. 

Minato checks on Rin and Kakashi anyway. Nothing out of the ordinary inside the guest room, just two sleeping children. Kakashi was curled in tight on himself, just like he always slept unless he summoned his dogs, but he didn't do that much anymore now that he was older. Minato swore he spent more of his first two years as a teacher to the boy with Pakkun or Bull rather than Kakashi himself. Rin was drooling some, head buried in her arms loosely, and she was sound asleep with some sort of green  _ thing  _ on her hair, something Minato didn't recognize. 

Konoha was taking heavy losses from Kumogakure. Iwa wasn't nearly as strong without the Kannabi Bridge to move men and supplies into The Land of Fire, but their threat was ever present. Minato thought about it, and while his shame at not being able to protect all of those shinobi was present, he didn't feel nearly as terrible. It wasn't his fault that they were at war, he hadn't caused it. Anything that happened was on the Hokage's hands and conscience. 

Minato forced himself back to bed, but he never fell asleep. 

* * *

The Hokage sends for him after six days. 

**____ **

He goes alone, even though he's told to bring his students. Minato isn't confident enough to release what little paranoia remains from his time on the frontlines, and it's never wise to put all of his men in one spot when you don't know the position of the…

Well the Hokage isn't the enemy, but Minato still exercises caution. 

He leaves his students at the Uchiha compound with Fugaku and his mildly pyromaniac secretary while he goes to the meeting. He bows when he enters, respectful and seasoned by years and years of these sort of meetings. 

"Hokage-sama," He says politely, hoping this conversation will go better than the last though he's prepared for the worst. "You sent for me?"

If the Hokage had any thoughts on the fact that Minato left his students to venture here by himself, he says nothing about it. "I did." He isn't smoking this time, not even having a lit pipe on his desk. There are deep bruises beneath the crow's feet of his eyes, and a strange fondness in his gaze as he looks at Minato wearily. 

"May I ask why?" 

"It seems I'm out of options," Sandaime runs a hand over his face, shaking his head slowly. "We're beginning to lose on two fronts. Our medics are running low. Kirigakure is beginning to plot against us--" He takes a deep breath that rattles from the years of smoking, and Minato can see where it all begins to lead to. He doesn't smile, doesn't claim his victory yet. He wants to wait, to be cautious, to be prepared for any false pretenses and tricks. He's been Jiraiya's student for enough years to seek out the unexpected and prepare.

"I see." Minato replies diplomatically, and isn't that just the theme of his life now? Trying to stay calm, to teeter in the middle, toeing the line of what will benefit and hurt him and those around him. "That's unfortunate." 

He lets out a soft huff of laughter, just a blow of air through his nose. "I'm giving you three days," The Hokage's eyes search out his pipe, although it isn't on the desk anywhere. Minato's grateful for it's absence, and his eyes aren't stinging from tobacco today. "Only three days to travel back to Kusa to retrieve Uchiha Obito's body. You may take your squad." 

"And in return, you want us back on the battlefield." 

The Hokage inclines his head. 

"Thank you," Minato said immediately, swooping down to one knee in a quick bow of respect before standing up. He tries to fight the beaming smile off his face, already going through his head to plan and make arrangements, his thought a million miles away. "We'll leave immediately, with your permission of course, Hokage-sama." 

The Hokage snorts again. 

"You may have won a small victory, but you've ruined yourself in the long run." The Sandaime informs him, his gaze mournful and exhausted. "This kind of disrespect cannot be met with reward. You've damaged your chances of being in the standing for Hokage."

Minato thinks about it for a second, and the loss doesn't seem as big as it should for a dream he's had since childhood. He straightens his back, keeping his head held high. 

"That's alright," He replies coldly. "It raises the chances for Kushina or Fugaku." 

Minato leaves to get things prepared to bring his student home. 

* * *


End file.
